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from one extreme After waking up from the longest amount of sleep that I have had all week, I found that my mood had changed for the worse while I slept. The positive feelings had been replaced with something a little more gloomy if not mildly bitter. I thought that sleep was supposed to make people feel more alert and refreshed, but somehow the reverse happened to me. It sounds strange but most of January has already faded from my memory. I guess that it was a good month, but nothing really stands out in my memory. I suppose that if I wanted I could glance back through the journal entries to remember some of the highlights, but rather than looking backwards, I want to focus more on my upcoming trip to Europe later this year. To be even more blunt, I wouldn't mind being on my way there now or at the very least on vacation somewhere. As wrong as it may or may not be, going somewhere else is the best way for me to relax and I need to do that sometime soon. Being somewhere new for a few days almost always makes me happy. Just being able to walk away from everything that makes up my daily routine is a wonderful feeling. To not have any responsibility whatsoever is a form of freedom that is denied me when I am home. Maybe I am still trying to make up for the vacation time that I missed during the holidays since I worked through most of them. During the day I got an email from a former coworker. In the short message he asked the usual so what is new with you type of questions, which got me thinking if I had made any real progress since he left the company. While we were working together his almost daily complaining would rub off on me and eventually I would start to echo his thoughts. Then when he finally left, things didn't seem nearly as bleak as when he would go on and on about them to me. Now that I've heard from him again, some of the old questions started to surface, which is another sign that I need a vacation. I know that my life changes, but there are times when it is so hard to see it happening which makes me waver from one extreme to the next. Either I try to get as much pleasure as I can from the quiet moments or I have to be on some kind of grand trip to somewhere new in the world. The rest of the time between these two extremes is spent just going through the motions.
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