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self indulgent Within an hour and a half of being home, I was asleep. No effort. No worries. Actually for the past three days I have fallen asleep on the couch. Sometimes I have to wonder why I own a bed, when so often I never use it. Four of the journals that I liked to read on a regular basis ended this year and I can understand why they stopped what they were doing. Sometimes the initial need behind the writing ceases to have meaning or the original goal that they had was reached. On the other hand there are even more simple answers such as not having anything more to say after a certain length of time. Besides if they are trying to make a human connection, there are other forms of communication that people can use to get better results instead of writing personal thoughts for random strangers to read. Then again I might be wrong. Writing about daily events is an odd habit that doesn't always work very well. Thoughts that flow so freely in the mind have to take on a more linear order when fixed into words and in this transformation tend to lose some of their awe or power. Quite often there are days when I don't have anything to say or I don't feel like trying to describe what I am thinking or feeling. Then there is the strange thing that a journal does to time. Events seem to last longer and cloud the future. I may not have known the people behind the words in what one might see as a traditional mode of friendship, but I did still value what they had to say and how they said it. I can't think of one person who wrote a journal that resembles my life, or me, but that isn't why I read what they wrote. Some of the people used the English language in a way that I had never heard anyone else use it. Some of them had done things that I have not or may not ever do in my life. Then there is the fact that I like to read stories and stories told from the first perspective are the best kind. Now I imagine that the photos that I put on the index page yesterday took forever to load, but I wanted to put them there for just one day. The photo on the left was taken from my college id that I used back in 1988 and the one on the right was from my passport that I just got in the mail this week. So what we had was me twelve years ago and my current incarnation side by side. Personally I was surprised that I could achieve that exact same look without even trying. I swear that my mouth is in the exact same smirk that I had when I was young and innocent over a decade ago. Of course I have no idea what the photos look like on another computer so maybe the resolution is horrible.
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