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some quiet again Various things that happened to me over the past two days were lost in the entries, but I have never been that good at lengthy summation. Something seems to crush the human element when I try to document every single last event in my life. So instead I talk about impressions. Not having to work on Christmas for the first time in three years was a nice change of pace for me. My body was able to take the punishment of running from house to house and eating more food than I usually do. Actually with my being sick last Thursday and Friday, I probably didn't gain any weight from the holidays. Not eating for two days does tend to balance out a day or two of holiday meals. ... Yesterday my sister Hope and I had a chance to talk. In the past I've mentioned that she is the one sibling that I feel the closest to or at the very least understand the most. At the moment she is feeling slightly lost in life and isn't too sure what she wants to do next. At the moment her college career has been a less than positive experience for her. In fact she is in the midst of changing schools or maybe on the verge of stopping all together. She hasn't decided yet. She has a skilled job from her time in the military, but she also knows that she doesn't want to do what she is doing for the rest of her life. Being twenty years old is not exactly the most stable point in a person's life. Some people like to say that they know from age thirteen or so what they want to do with the rest of their lives. My response would be good for them. I, however, was not one of those people, nor does it seem is my sister. I'm not sure what if any pressure might be coming from my parents nor have I asked. All that I could tell my sister is that plans change and as for me I don't look that much farther than a year or two into the future. Any further speculation on my part seems pointless if not foolish to me. There are just too many variables to try and predict when it comes to life. Perhaps I sound defeatist to some people, but I would argue the opposite. Actually I am very happy with my life at the moment. Through the course of the year I have come to discover that I've haven't failed in life. I may not be making a six figure salary or working at a cutting edge technology company, but I don't think that I want that from life anyway. There are so many days when I get tired of talking about Cisco routers, IP subnet masking and dropped packets. Quite honestly it bores the hell out of me. It lacks meaning. It has no value to me and I find people who are obsessed with such things to be inherently sad. I have also come to realize that the up and coming self declared computer whiz kids in the job market have very little in common with what I experienced when I was growing up. Things such as a Commodore 64 or a TI computer are ancient history to them. The short lived gaming era of the Atari 2600 is long gone. They came aboard when everything was already in place for them. Now everything has to be better and faster and I could care less. Of course I have no immediate plans to abandon my job. For me I see it as easy money and as long as I can keep pace with certain changes in technology I should be fine. Personally I find all of it to be incredibly easy to learn. I also find it very sad when some young lackluster student gets paid more than someone who has been working ten years in some other field. Then again time and time again they say that life isn't fair. Still I am curious to see what happens when the job market in the technology field finally levels out. Perhaps in a generation when people truly become computer savy there won't be as big of a gap between those who know and those that don't. Personally I feel that anyone can learn computers if they apply themselves. It isn't an inherent talent such as writing or painting. For me I would rather meet the next James Joyce than the next Bill Gates. ... It felt good being able to say what I just said. I truly like my life and I would have to say that this was a very good year for me. Finally getting to Europe meant more to me than I can express. Oh, some people may have gone when they were in high school or college, but I think that it had more meaning to me as an adult. It wasn't me escaping from some small town life or one massive drinking weekend. It had value to me. Yes, I might have seen Europe through a very small window of time, but it wasn't Disneyland either. I could fully understand the history of what I was seeing. The places that I saw meant something to me and having seen them made my life that much richer. My second great accomplishment this year was going back to school. Being asked to think once more was so freeing for me. Hearing people make intelligent comments about life was something that I sincerely needed. Perhaps some people could argue that I just haven't found my place in life yet and I would be quick to agree. As cliche as it sounds I am on the verge of a new stage in my life. The silly clawing and climbing to get ahead in business throughout my twenties is gone now. I don't need to pee further than the guy next to me. Nor will I ever let a job define me as a person. ... My sister Hope thinks that I should be a contestant on a trivia game show, because she is convinced that I would win hands down. Part of me can see her point. If I went on Jeopardy I am pretty sure that I would rack up the points unless I suffered some massive panic attack from being in front of the camera and audience. As for Who Wants to be a Millionaire, I can't say since I have never seen a full episode of the show due to my disgust with Regis Philbin. The man is a moron.
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