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week with donna Today was day one of a five day class that work wanted both Donna and I to attend. So far things are looking very good. Ann thought that the class was slightly beneath me, but I don't mind as long as I get a week with pay away from work. It also tells me that work is willing to invest some time and money in me after neglecting me for what to me seems like a long time. From what Donna has said she also seems to think that the class is fairly introductory, but there was a moment where I figured something out that she kept getting wrong. I think that the correct phrase here would be overconfident. Donna also thinks that she knows more than me since she now works in what technically is a more advanced department within our company. I just take all of this in stride. There are quite a few things that I already know, but there are also some areas where my knowledge is rusty and this class should fix that problem. Some of the material deals with things that I learned almost six years ago, but have atrophied since then. At that time I was much more motivated and actively taking classes that pertained to my job field. Then everything in my life changed. Tracy and her son came to live with me and there wasn't any more time for school. Once the two of them were no longer in my life it was on to another job and my technical focus in the job field changed again. Suddenly this new company sent me to a three week class that taught me something that I no longer use in my current job. What I learned was very valuable at that company, but doesn't really apply within my current situation. Now oddly enough I am now able to tap into some of that old knowledge from years ago and I know that I can build on it to get something better. ... I honestly give credit to Ann to be able to devote so much of her time to studying when she has two daughters to watch. Still I have the feeling that her ex-husband helps more with the children than my old girlfriend did. Plus there is the fact that Ann makes more money than I did when I was trying to support three people. The budget might be tight for her, but I know that she has more to work with than I did. Money truly was the deciding factor for my leaving Tracy. At the time she was a financial rock about my neck and I felt as though I were drowning everyday. In an ideal world, love wouldn't be subjected to money problems, but I have yet to find that world. It isn't one that I inhabit. In Tracy's mind I never gave us a chance, but people don't change and a life with her would have been very hard. Sometimes I wish that things could have been better, but from where I am now I can live with my decision. Of course in her eyes I abandoned her and was a complete asshole, but I guess that that doesn't really matter anymore since I haven't had any contact with her in years. Naturally I am seeing all of this distorted through time, but I can't change any of it now either. Nor am I trying to say that Ann and I had the exact same circumstances. That wouldn't be true at all. I guess that what I am trying to say is that I learned some very important things about myself from that time. Creating or trying to maintain some form of a family is a very emotionally exhausting experience. ... Yesterday wasn't Super Bowl Sunday for me. Instead of watching the game, I was busy watching the movie Mission to Mars. After seeing the movie I can understand why it didn't do well. The pace is slow if not ponderous, but I didn't dislike it. Space travel isn't as fast paced as it is in fiction. Getting from here to there takes time and as the movie points out, things can go wrong. Just the thought of humanity going to Mars still amazes me. Most of the experts think that we'll go there first, before we go back to the moon. Although someone once told me that they might train on the moon in preparation in going to Mars. Whatever they decide to do, I hope that I am still alive to see it happen. ... After I got back from class this afternoon, I finally bought my tickets to Australia. My sister and I will be leaving on the seventeenth of May.
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