Flashback

Since work was so slow for me today, I started to write an entry for tonight while I was there. I have gathered that people must think that my life is incredibly boring. So to demonstrate why I like my life the way it is now, I was going to compare my current situation to my life with my old girlfriend. When we were together it was hardly boring.

The plan was to scan a photo of her and then explain why I was so miserable with her. I would ramble on about the stress and arguments. Then when I did scan the photo I started to change my mind. Here was a picture of a woman who was the center of my world for a year.

I can remember when and where I took the photo. It was early in the relationship and she was spending the weekend at my place. Here she was doing her primping before we left the house. All of the details are still in my memory. The smell and touch of her body. The way she moved. The way she slept. How she talked. All of that is still a part of me.

We were not the same person by any means. In fact we were complete opposites. Very few people could understand what we saw in one another. She was the definitive bad girl who never grew up and I was the good guy who gave people the benefit of the doubt. In hindsight I should have known better, but sometimes I just have to learn something the hard way.

There were times when we couldn't stand one another. I was disgusted with the way she lived and she thought that I was dead or something. More than once she would shout at me that I just didn't get it. Other times she would just mumble and take another drag on her cigarette.

Yes, we were the great communicators.

Then there were the happy times, when I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. I will always have those memories. True, I might romanticize them somewhat now, but it wasn't all bad.

I won't slander her or degrade her here. She has a life of her own now and I have mine. As my parents are fond of saying, it just wasn't meant to be.

So why did I decide to talk about her? Well, I am talking about my life and for most of last year she was my life. My life did exist before this online journal began. Yes, I didn't really say that much about her except that we were together for a year and now we are not. Its hard to explain her unless you meet her and I have put her behind me for the most part. Besides my opinion would have a very heavy bias. Perhaps I just felt like giving a glimpse of what was important to me at one time.

Tomorrow's entry will be more choppy sentences that don't reveal anything.