Falling Fast

Part of me wants so much to talk about Brenda and another part of me wants to keep her all to myself. She says that I make her happy and I believe her. Being with her is so different than when I was with Tracy. The two of them don't even compare.

I don't want to create a grocery list of what I like about Brenda, but I'll mention a few things without sounding too much like a dork. First of all she is college educated and can support herself which is very important to me. Obviously, I think she is attractive or I wouldn't have started to see her. She smells good. She is practical and silly at the same time. By her own admission she is spoiled, but I don't mind. I told her that she is blunt and doesn't hold back with people, which is how some people have described me. After I explained what I meant she agreed with me. Neither of us likes to lie. I guess what really makes her attractive to me is that she is definitely her own person.

I realize that the preceding paragraph had some nasty grammar, but I don't care. I said that it was going to a be list of sorts and that's what I wrote without making a coherent paragraph. I'm sure that the giddy emotions still managed to come through somehow.

I think that we are both feeling like we are in high school again, but we're not. Oh, the hormones are still there, but we are older than sixteen and seventeen. We both have been intensely involved with people before. She was married and I lived with someone. All of this doesn't matter now though. Its just the two of us now.

Recently on the diary-l someone mentioned how college is the one time in a person's life when the dating pool is at its greatest concentration. This is so true.

When I graduated from college, I was completely lost for a time. I had just lost my college girlfriend and really started to wonder if I would ever have another girlfriend ever again. Yes, I was pretty crushed at the time. A person can really change and grow in five years though.

How would I meet someone? Who would I hang out with on the weekends? My social life was completely ended. It was just me again, because my college roomates were all moving in with their girlfriends and still had a year left in school. I had to adapt and be more independent.

Would I be happy with someone who wasn't college educated? I know that might sound harsh, but people have to be at the same level or it just isn't going to work. A perfect example would be Tracy and I. Yes, there was quite a bit of other baggage as well, but we really couldn't hold a conversative about anything when things were calm. No, what I mean is that we could talk, but I wanted so much more from life than she did.

One more cutesy couple thing and I'll shut up for the day. Brenda has to refer to me as "the boy" at work, because her exhusband's name is Eric.

I would update earlier, but Brenda doesn't own a computer. She herself has pointed out how strange this seems from a person who works in an electronics store.