The Morning Commute

Each day when I wake up, I look forward to the morning commute. As I have said here before, it is my time. A time for me to think about life in general and try to adjust to the world again. Some of the details on the commute have changed over the past the two months. Now when I drive in the morning, the sun is rising and the roads are clear.

Spring is giving some false hope of nicer weather and people talk about summer. I am more hesitant and know that the really warm weather is still months away. There was snow on the ground just a month ago.

Sarah McLachlan provided the atmosphere on the drive in this morning. Her cd, Surfacing, is my latest purchase. To be more precise her cd is the latest one that Brenda has bought for me.

Brenda said that the album put her to sleep. Upon listening to it some more, I see the album as being very personal. The music is not the kind where crowds of people dance in unison. The music is much more solitary. I have frightening visions of crowds of fifteen year old girls being mystical as they sway to the voice of Sarah at the Lilith fair. I like to think that I can appreciate the music and not be a fifteen year old girl in a crushed velvet dress with a giant ankh necklace around my neck singing praises to the goddess.

Things have calmed down between Brenda and myself. She is building toward her week long stay in Minneapolis coming up soon and I am just being me.

Lately I have been living very much for the present. I know that the future exists, but have no real definite plans for the year.

There are two things that I do when I get to work in the morning. One is them is eat something. Yes, I spend about the first half hour eating the breakfast that I could have eaten at home. While I am eating I start to compose a journal entry. All of the thoughts that came to me on the commute get put down on paper or typed up on the screen and examined. Does it sound nearly as good as it did in my head?

Then after I have finished eating and writing, I realize that I am at work and need to do something. The sadness starts to set in then as well.

Today I was invited out for drinks tomorrow night. A woman from work had asked me. I asked Brenda if she wanted to go out with them. Brenda said no or at least indicated that she would prefer not to go out with them. First of all she does not like the south side of Milwaukee and I think that she wsa hurt that another woman had asked me out. By her own admittance Brenda is a very jealous person.

I apologize for the hasty review of the McLachlan cd. I really do like the music, but words are failing me right now.