Spin on Life

I wake up, crawl out of bed, stagger to the bathroom and take a shower. After getting dressed, I pack a lunch and then walk outside to my car thirty yards away from the door. This is followed by a half hour commute filled with generally mindless, but sometimes amusing talk radio. When the talking gets to me, I put in a cd and try to make the most of the ride. Thirty minutes later, I pull into the parking lot, get out of my car and walk through the front door of the building. Nine hours of boredom mingled with frustration follows as I sit in my cube staring at my monitor. I glaze over the moment that I sit down in my chair. That is how my day starts five days a week. Thankfully the nights are a little more varied or I would go insane. Maybe I have gone insane and I just don't know it.

Okay, enough with the woe is me routine. None of what I have said above is new and it really doesnít read very well either. I feel as though I have reached some kind of plateau with this journal and my life in general. Its not as though I were trying to put a spin on my life. Its just that too much of it is reflecting the title and I donít want it to anymore. Iím not sure what I want from life, but I want something.

Suddenly my life has become a quest for the grail. Yes, I have read far too much Joseph Campbell, but that is the way I have been feeling lately. I am a hero on my journey who keeps missing the signs along the way. There are no oracles to guide me. There aren't any sacred tablets for me to decipher. Oh, I ask questions, but I never seem to get any answers. Why should I ask questions? People say that life is meant to be lived. Its not a riddle to be solved. I wish it were that simple at times for me, but it isnít and I donít know why.

Maybe I should stop writing these entries at work, because my frame of mind is much better when I am at home.