Bonsai for Me

Gus seems to be ghost writing entries for Nancy once again. The recent alien robot point of view motif doesn't sound like her. The garbled entries a few weeks back were the brainchild of the Gus so I don't think that I am that far off in pointing at Gus for these entries.

In what I think is the last entry that Nancy wrote, she was talking about how the journals are becoming too much for her and I can understand what she is saying. Some of the more effective ones can be very draining. A person can only care so much, before they have to pull away.

Lately I have been cutting back on the amount of journals that I read. When I start to read too many I feel as though I am losing the personal connection. The words and emotions become watered down. I can't shake the hand of every person that I pass as I walk down the street and feel as though they are my friend. Nor can I try to keep reading either the latest or greatest of the journals on a daily basis and expect them to hold much meaning for me.

For the most part I read the ones that I first made contact with a year ago. Sprinkled amongst these originals are some new journals, but I try to keep the daily read to a count of ten or so. A smaller number lets me absorb what is being said much more completely.

In an effort to keep up with my journal reading, I had downloaded some entries to a disk for later reading at work. Naturally I realized that I had forgetten the disk at home when I was half way to work this morning. The temptation to turn around was there, but I kept on going to work.

My life might be changing very soon, because I have received a job offer and will be talking with them in the near future. Of course I still have to go through the interview, but I am already thinking about how my life will change if I get the job. I have been complaining about my job for almost a year and if everything goes well then all of that will go away. True, I'll have to deal with the combination of learning a new job and routine, but it will be a new challenge and should make my life better not worse. Without having to complain everyday, I might be able to enjoy living again. I want to move forward with my life and hope that I am making the right decision by leaving and trying something new.

I am now the proud owner a bonsai tree. I've never had one before, but the whole concept of a tree in a pot has fascinated me for years. Its a perfect example of nature becoming art. Now I just hope that I don't kill it.