Bourbon Street Shenanigans

Saturday night I joined a bachelor party (already in progress) for my buddy Glen. I had already walked into the Quarter when I finally got through to someone in the party; they were at the Cat's Meow, a two-story karaoke joint that's quite popular with locals and tourists alike.

So I'm walking fast down Bourbon, dodging drunks and scowling at the bead-wearing tourists. I get behind a tall, skinny guy with his arm around a tall, skinny blonde. Two guy walks by in the opposite direction.

The guy looks over his shoulder at them, giving me a clear view of his face. He's ugly like a bucket of assholes and he's missing more than a few teeth.

"That's right!" He yelled, "you keep lookin', she's with me!" Then he grabbed himself a nice big handful of the girl's ass. She smiled at him adoringly. She was no beauty, but she could have done better.

Later, I was on the balcony at Cat's Meow, drinking and talking with Glen and his buddies. They had beads and they were tossing them to the girls that were showing their boobs, as per usual.

Down on the street a woman walks up. She looks to be somewhere in her forties, blond, thin, plain. She looks like a librarian, maybe, or a grade-school teacher. Her and her male friend are having a drink and watching the chaos around them. After a few minutes she hands her drink to the guy and lifts her shirt, revealing boobs of Kate-Winslet-in-Titanic quality. She was pelted with beads.

"She was all plain jane, dude," someone said, "but what a rack!"