Rhys Something

Listening to my iPod on the way home, and one of the songs from the Velvet Goldmine soundtrack comes on.

"This is a good tune," I think, "and that's a good rock-and-roll movie. Too bad about the DVD, though. Not too many extras on it. What that movie needs is the Criterion Collection treatment...get the director in on some commentary, maybe Ewan McGregor, Christian Bale, John Rhys-Davies..."

"No," I say out loud, "I mean Jonathan Rhys Meyers..."

I think about it for a second.

"But it would be funnier," I keep on, "if it were John Rhys-Davies, and he's wearing the dwarf get-up, and he's all in the Gimli character with the ersatz Scottish accent and everything."

"Ach," I say in my best dwarf accent, "this is some fine glam rock, but I don't know about all the homoeroticism."

And then I laughed like a motherfucker. I tickle myself sometimes.