Those Wacky Papists!

Pope tells Africa 'condoms wrong'

Pope Benedict XVI, who is making his first papal visit to Africa, has said that handing out condoms is not the answer in the fight against HIV/Aids.

The pontiff, who preaches marital fidelity and abstinence, said the practice only increased the problem.

Tomorrow, the pope is set to denounce umbrella use in rainy weather. According to a copy of his statement leaked to the press, the pope will apparently declare umbrellas "fail to keep a person dry" and may in fact "make them much, much wetter. Sinful, dirty umbrellas."

Update: The Onion, as usual, says it better.