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Effluvia Sonya helped with the Effluvia today. She says Stee's first entry always brings a tear to her eye. Archie McPhee sells cool stuff. Like boxing nuns. Things like that. And crab.com. Sonya's listening preferences today: Cranberry-orange surprise. The surprise? There's Metamucil in it. Bygone
Days 125 YEARS AGO H. Cohn announces he will reopen his store at the old stand near the Charleston Railroad Depot about July 20, with a new stock of clothing, boots, caps and shoes. That wacky H. Cohn - he spoils us so. Boss Kenny 
I drove Sonya's car to work yesterday and left the top down. When I came out Boss Kenny was sitting in the driver's seat, wearing an ascot. This is what he said: "Give me the keys, Harold, I invented the Sebring. I'm a genius. [sings] Sebring...you are my favorite convertible, and I love yoooooou...." |
07/05/2000 Sebring So I took a week off. What you gonna do about it? I've been busy. Car buying, mainly. And other things. Let's talk about it, shall we? Thursday night after work, cash in hand from the sale of Sonya's Altima, we went to Gossett, Memphis' only Volkswagen dealer, to try and talk them out of their one remaining 1999 Cabrio GL. I may have mentioned that we'd looked at this car before; we were trying to do a trade-in, then, and they offered a ridiculously low price on the car itself 'cause they were gang-fucking us on the trade. No gang fucking tonight, buddy! I knew exactly what the car cost and intended to get it. I drove the car, Sonya drove the car. The young salesmen tried to do his best to ingratiate himself with us, talking about the Cure (I had on the new t-shirt) and trying to be hip-young-guy. When it came time to talk price, though, he revealed himself to be the pawn of the system that he truly is. I lowballed, he highballed. After some negotiation their price was stuck at invoice plus three percent plus the destination charge. Now, I think that's a perfectly reasonable price for a new 2000 or 2001, but for a 1999? That's probably been sitting somewhere for two years? No. I realize they've got to make money, too, but they don't have to make it off of me. The Williams Family did walk away. "Make one more offer," Sonya said, "then let's go. I'm hungry." So we left and went to the Public Eye for pig-meat. Good pig-meat. More car dealers on Friday. I spent most of the day working the phone, trying to find one of Sonya's preferred convertibles. Covington Pike Chrysler seemed to be a good place - a salesman there told me they had several 1998's and 1999's. "We got some good 2000's, too, with good rebates," he also told me. Whatever. We went to look at the older ones. We were met by a short (Sonya was wearing her big tall Molkoboots, which probably intimidated him), pot-bellied and surly saleman who grunted when I asked him if they had any '98s or '99s while pointing towards the corner of the lot. Horribly, gold packages - including gold rims, even on a silver car - had been added to all of them, making them unpurchasable. We asked him about one black Sebring with dealer tags. He was gone forever, then came back and got in the car before telling me it, too, was a 2000. "Well, I'm looking for a used one," I said, "thanks anyway." He jumped out of the car and invaded my personal space. "Well, what if I can get you a good deal on financing? How 'bout a nice big rebate? You can get a 2000 as cheap as any of the other ones. Blah blah blah..." "I'm not interested," I said, as Sonya and I slowly backed towards my car, "maybe we'll come back later." "Well just come inside and let me get your name and phone number," he said, obviously seconds away from grabbing mine and Sonya's ears and draggin us inside. "That's okay," I said, opening my car door, "maybe next time." "Just come in for a minute!" he yelled, obviously impatient. "Nope," we hopped in the car and locked the doors. By this point he's standing outside my window, yelling, as I rev the engine. He was promising rebates, low interest rates and maybe even a pony if we would only buy a car from him. He was a little bully, and we refused to do what he wanted. It obviously infuriated him. Fuck you. little man, fuck you. Satuday was more of the same, this time at Liberty Chrysler. I called out there that morning (after refusing to get into a bidding war with two other people back at the Volkswagen place for a different Cabrio - I think our young salesman was disappointed at that. Perhaps he had been imagining auction-inflated commissions or something) and was assured (by a nice fellow named William, I think) that they had plenty of '99 Sebrings - at least three. "But we can sell you a 2000 for the same price as a '99," he assured me. "Whatever," I said, "but you do have '99's?" "Yes, sir, but we can-" "Thank you," I cut him off, I'll be there this afternoon." So we go out there and not only does he hand us off to some Jeff Fisher lookalike ("I had a cousin come in," he lamely explained) but there was not one Sebring on the lot that wasn't a 2000 or 2001. I told Jeff that I wasn't interested. "Well, just come inside and let William know," he said, starting towards the door. By the time he turned around we were pulling out of the parking lot. If dude lied to me before he even met me I'll be damned if he gets to go into another sales pitch on my time. So the rest of Saturday was pretty fruitless, though we did see a bunch of strippers having a car wash in their tiny little stage bikinis on Brooks Road and I turned the wrong way on Elvis Presley, blithely assuring Sonya that I was going the right way the whole time. We were not, and she happily pointed this out to me on our long return trip to Whitehaven to check one more dealership. Things were looking grim Sunday morning, as I went through the classifieds again and did some sweeping internet searches. Our final option? Leave the state. That's not a big deal, though. Mississippi is pretty close, so we went to Southland Chrysler Jeep and talked to Anthony. Anthony didn't try to upsell us and pointed us towards a '98 Sebring with ridiculously low miles and all the bells and whistles. Anthony didn't hassle us about doing a trade-in or using dealer financing, either, and the price he named for the car was almost unbelievably reasonable. Therefore, we bought a car from him. In review:
Gossett Volkswagen, Liberty Chrysler
and Covington Pike Chrysler: BANNED So Sunday afternoon was spent tooling around the town, top down, showing the new ride to family and friends. It is candy apple red and highly recommend that if you have the means you consider one. Sonya's been grinning since Sunday afternoon. Happy Wife. Monday I took a long lunch to get the new car inspected. It was the first of the month - the line was very long. And hot. Then I took the inspection thing back to Mississippi so they could process my paperwork and shit. A four-hour lunch. I was even impressed with that. Monday night we went and got Glen, the Professional Prick and former coworker of mine, for a watch-the-fireworks party at Donna's. Donna's building is set off to the south of the rest of Downtown, so she has a sweeping view of Arkansas, the river, Downtown and the rest of the city. The fireworks would be going off about a half-mile away and right in front of us. We stopped at the Quik-Chek and got lots of beer. We were the first to arrive at Donna's, and we commenced drinking the beer and eating the lovely little snacks Donna had made. A crowd showed up shortly - Donna's friends and coworkers, mostly. A good group. We sat in Donna's big window and watched the fireworks. Everyone drank a lot, talked a lot, and seemed to have a good time. Especially Glen, who is a personable person and gets along well with people in general. We got home very late. Lovely. Yesterday, to celebrate the birth o' the nation and all, we went to Jen and James' condo for an All American seafood boil. Crablegs, shrimp, potatoes and corn went in, and after a couple of hours we gorged. James and I threw the football around in the midsummer heat and were immediately drenched in sweat. It was a good fourth. Currently? I'm washing some clothes, had a good workout earlier. That Survivor is a good show, huh? There's a chance the electricity will be cut off in our building tomorrow. This is not good. Not mine and Sonya's utilities, mind you - the entire building. Apparently the landlord has been a bit slow paying the bill. Each apartment has its own utility account, but if the building electricity gets cut off that means no elevators, no lights in the hall and no hot water from the boiler. Chaos will ensue. Rioting and clan warfare. Not good. I've heard the situation has been corrected, but if you don't hear from me for a few days I might be conquering and subjugating the neighbors. You never know, right? I'll keep you posted. |
