Effluvia

Dan Savage talking about the TV show Big Brother:

"Hey, CBS: We would've watched the show more often if Jamie, Brittany, and Curtis were sucking Josh's cock every time we tuned in."

Also from The Stranger, talking about the Olympics:

"On the uneven bars, the worship-worthy Russian Svetlana Khorkina made up for a less-than-perfect dismount with some adorably saucy butt-wiggling. On the high bar, fellow Russkie Aleksei Nemov followed his perfectly perfect dismount by offering a shy smile, then stripping to the waist--an image of such intense beauty and eroticism it will remain burned in our retinas forever."

And again from The Stranger, talking about dogs:

"...a small dog--the kind of terrier with the Fu Manchu whiskers--whose daily ritual consists of gleefully rubbing its backside against the house in an effort to quell some feral itch. It is quite a sight, this small beast moving gracelessly up and down the imposing, perfect wall, its behind wiggling rapidly, its face plastered with that speechless, dull expression of joy that only dogs can countenance."

What great writing. I think it's the best - and funniest - alternative weekly going on out there.

Journals

• Bad Hair Days
• Plaintive Wail
• Humidity and Hebephrenia
• Randomly Ever After
• U9
• Fukushu
• Nature of life...
• DNA Sequencing

Siobhanorama!

I predict Siobhan will update tonight. She hasn't in a few days. We seem to be on a similar update cycle lately.

"Personally, I didn't like the spitting that seemed to go hand in hand with punk rock. I preferred Spandau Ballet."

- some prim and oh-so-English BBC announcer

I've been listening to the various BBC channels lately. On World Service this morning they were predicting a full-fledged revolution in Serbia before too long; there were over one million protesting Serbs, rioting in the streets and trying to overtake the capitol building.

It's called karma, Slobodan; you're soaking in it!

Last week, when I saw on the news that they were getting ready to have an election in Serbia I thought, "oh, yeah, Milosevic is gonna get voted out? I don't think so." Now it looks like they might pull a Mussolini on him. That would be funny.

And canny Bill Clinton sided with the revolutionaries, saying they had had an election "stolen" from them, using their own rallying cry. When this American gig is over with I bet ol' Bill could be president of any country he chose.

He won't do that, though. It would be like Dan Marino playing Arena League Football.

This morning was a symphony of comedy.

First, I had to put on my newly-cleaned khaki pants. I took them to Liberto's cleaners on Saturday and I told them, "light starch."

I actually tried to stand the pants up before I put them on. Had the legs not been stuck together with starch they would have stood quite well, I think.

So I had to fight my legs into the pants, ripping and tearing at the overstarched fabric until I had forced the pants on. Then I had to do knee bends and stretching exercises to get out all the stiff stickiness.

Is it possible to dip clothes in starch? 'Cause I think that's what they did.

Anyway, nice clean pants, right? After I walk the dog I'm in the kitchen, and I see some stuff that needs throwing away. I'm gathering up the garbage when I fumble a soda can, spraying my leg with day-old Coke. Lovely.

Then I get out to the car and my back window is covered with dew. I've got some paper towels in the car, so I take the paper towels and wipe off the worst of the dew 'cause sometimes it's nice to see when you're driving. My car is filthy and the paper towels weren't too absorbent; I ended up dodging and ducking, trying to keep the flying filthwater off my nice clean pants.

Sonya and I were watching the news last night.

"Forty-two percent of people surveyed thought George W. Bush won last night's debate," the newsperson said, "while 39% thought Al Gore was the victor. Thirteen percent were undecided."

"And 2% didn't know," I added.

Guess what? I'm off Friday and Monday! That's a four-day weekend. I'm excited. After paying a little attention to Sonya's car tomorrow morning I'm going to go bum around the Quarter, being a slacker. Woohoo!