Effluvia

The always-entertaining Kenny Rogers:

• Making a comeback
• Composing a masterpiece

Pop a cap.

Journal Roulette

gravitybound.com - Interesting. Minimal.

Siobhanorama!

Siobhan is getting disrespected by the UPS man. She may never get her graduation present.

The Coworkers
Ain't Cool Dep't.

The big-headed security guard who works in the afternoon. I wouldn't let him guard a dumpster.

Three Years Ago
The first mention of America Undercover.

Two Years Ago
And, a year later, I talk about the finest America Undercover episode ever.

One Year Ago
Houses. Pigs. Harelips.

Brimley's lookin' pretty cool over there, huh? Kinda buff for an old guy. Sent to me by Dave of Crash Into June fame. You should check out their message board and pretend to be a Memphis wrestler from twenty years ago. They love that shit.

Anyhow, I sent an e-mail to a tattoo artist today, describing what I want. I'm waiting for a response. Yeah, I think I'm gonna go ahead and do it. Tattoos are cool.

So my legs were kind of sore today, so I did the weight machines instead, concentrating on the upper body. I sat down on one of the machines and tried to shove my arms into the thing. Fortunately, a coworker was working out nearby.

"You're supposed to face in to the machine," he explained.

I blushed prettily and turned around.

Oh, how's this for shitty? I went to shut my car door this morning and the door handle broke. There are two little dealies that come off the handle and go into the door, right? Well, one of them broke off and apparently the other one is for show, because even though it is still attached to the car it doesn't even make the door open. So I have to go around to the passenger side, unlock that door, get in, reach over and open the driver's door and then get out and go around to get in the car and drive off. Fortunately, I'm still under warranty.

And, in closing, check this out:

Way to go there, Amazon. I was talking to my mom on the phone the other day and she said, "you know, Harold, for Mother's Day I'd love a book that realistically depicts the lives of a group of Scottish junkies. Can you think of anything like that?"