Guess what was on when I came home for lunch today? Barbarella! That, friends, is a horrible movie. You know what my father in-law calls Jane Fonda?

"Goddamned Hanoi Jane!"

My father in-law is a Vietnam vet; he has a low tolerance for pinkos. Who can blame him?

There was horrible weather around Memphis last night; you may have heard about it on the news. My coworkers came in this morning talking about nervous pacing all night, hiding in basements and watching our local channels near-constant weather coverage.

Me? I fell asleep on the floor during the timeslot that should have been occupied by ER. About fifteen after ten I got up, dragged Sonya off the couch and went to bed. The fucking building could have come down around us and I wouldn't have known.

Sonya, James and Jen are channel surfing behind me. What's this on the TV? Less Than Zero. That is one good motherfuckin' movie. James Spader is all cool, all the time. I loved sex, lies and videotape. And how 'bout that Jamie Gertz? She's so much sexier here than playing second banana to Helen Hunt and saying, "I can't talk right now - we've got cows!"

The whole Less Than Zero vibe is awfully cool, far as I'm concerned. Not to make this thing a nostalgia-fest about high school music, but my sophomore year in high school was dominated by the LTR soundtrack. You can't beat it, really. LL Cool J, the Bangles, Poison (the lite version of Rock and Roll All Night), Slayer (In A Gadda Da Vida on steroids), and Glen Danzig playing the cool crooner. And Public Enemy.

Think about it: what could be better than being 21, rich and living in LA in the late '80s? I'd be a coked-up party monster, too.

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