You know, it might not be a good thing to be a Kennedy. No?

Of course I was glued to MSNBC all weekend. Well, maybe not glued, but I kept checking back every once in a while to see if they had fished something out of the water or if John-John had come strolling down the beach, bruised and waterlogged. With every passing hour the former looks far more possible than the latter.

MSNBC has really started to get their act together, you know? I remember during the Olympic bombing they just sat there, thumb up their journalistic butt, while CNN trotted a camera up on the roof and gave the only live shot of the Park.

This weekend, though, you could see MSNBC bending all of their will to cover the holy hell out of this thing. I think they're figuring out that, when it comes to the TV side of the operation, that they have to let the NBC side of the family do all the work.

Of course, all of this is beyond tasteless. The way the all-news networks ride a tragedy into the ground, like Slim Pickens in Doctor Strangelove, is hideously ghoulish. I guess it puts the asses in the seats, though, or they wouldn't do it.

The worst thing, though, is how the all-news networksstay on the air, hour after hour, without one shred of new information. Every dumbfuck and society leech who had ever brushed up against a Kennedy was dragged in front of the camera to spout their half-baked insider report - and they would usually be ccut away from to show yet onother live shot of a boat going around and around in circles.

Saturday afternoon Soledad O'Brien (who never leaves the studio, as far as I can tell) reported that the Kennedy family was remaining in seclusion, not talking to the media.

"Well what do they expect?" I burst out. "Do they think Ted is going to come out on the porch wearing Wayfarers with a drink in his hand and start dancing around to Another One Bites the Dust?"

History does not record Sonya's answer.

By the way, does anyone out there want to lay odds that Elton John will mangle one of his old songs, just for this occasion?

Here's my question, though: which song will it be?

(Housekeeping notes: just did my twice-daily nipple maintenance. Salt-water soak, rinse, antibacterial soap, rinse, dry with a paper towel 'cause cloth towels harbor bacteria. I rarely scream any more during the salt-water part. I used to, though.

Also, the phone is ringing off the fuckin' hook tonight. Salesmen, family, friends, wrong numbers. Everyone wants to talk to the Williams Estate, I guess.)

Other than the national tragedy and all, it was pretty quiet weekend. It was a quiet beer-sodden weekend. On the way home Friday I picked up a couple of six-packs of Lowenbrau. Jen and Christy (the Good Witch) came over bearing an assortment of Miller products. There was a stray Killian's in the fridge, so going in to Friday night I had twenty-five beers. As of...well, ten minutes ago there are none. I hunted that Killian's down when I came in from running a little while ago and drank it like the beer it was. I might add Sonya and James didn't drink any of them.

I don't know about y'all, but I think Jen might have a problem, know what I'm saying?

I made a really good mix tape, too. I'm so proud of the damned things. Is that silly or what? Lots of good music, too.

I think there's fixing to be a Scrabble game. Will y'all excuse me?

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