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fall from grace Some of my overly positive attitude was crushed this week by something that happened at work. An employee who had been with the company for over twenty years was ushered out the door. Oh, the official party line is that he had been causing some personnel conflicts and to fix this problem they were demoting him. They felt that they were taking the proper measures to correct the high level of turnover in his department. According to them he was one of the main contributors to this happening. In other words he was the one that was driving the new hires away. I'll admit that he wasn't the easiest person to get along with at work, but I think that the measures that they took were unjustified and I can understand why he left after what they did to him. It didn't make sense to continue to work for someone that treated him the way that they did. It was sad, but it just reinforced my belief that most of what the management at companies say is useless. The almighty dollar is what is most important to them and that doesn't always include the welfare of their employees. What was even worse is that they hired back an employee who said that he quit because of the employee that was forced out the door. Personally I have no respect for this guy that just came back to the company. It strikes me as being very childish. The attitude of I'm not going to work unless you fire him sounds completely inane to me, but I am sure that other people have done it in the past and will continue to do it in the future. ... I saw Ann a couple of times this week and each encounter was a little different. On Wednesday morning she gave me a handful of Jelly Bellies to eat before I left. I didn't want to eat them all at once, because I have a thing about not mixing different flavors together. Something about tasting peach and popcorn at the same time isn't very appealing to me. This would have been fine except for the fact that trying not to spill them as I opened the door to my car became a major challenge. Then on Thursday morning before I left, I handed Ann a paper fan that I had made during a lull in the night. She asked me if I was going to stay and fan her for the day. I can't remember what was my response was to that comment, but I don't think that it was that clever. ... Today was one of those days where I just wanted someone to talk to me. No. What I wanted was someone to entertain me. No. Maybe I needed someone or something to distract me. No. Maybe I just wanted someone to hold me. No. Maybe I just wanted someone to spend the day in bed with so that we could forget everything else in the world for a while. Whatever I needed to improve my mood didn't happen. Normally I don't have any problems keeping myself amused, but there are times when it would be nice to have someone spoil me for a change. Unfortunately Ann was not that person. When I saw Ann tonight she was in an extremely giddy mood and was probably riding a fairly strong sugar high from what I could see. Lying around her were some empty candy boxes and she was still working on another one. This would have been fine except that I wasn't really in that kind of a mood. What was funny to her was only mildly entertaining to me. This is very typical of me. When I like someone there'll be these times when our moods do not coincide at all and neither one can understand what is wrong with the other person. To be honest this is what usually causes my relationships to fail in the end. I think that she could tell that I was a little off from my usual self, but it was a little hard to explain and she didn't seem to try too hard either. What I think is even sadder is that I won't see her until next week Friday night or Wednesday morning at the earliest since I am going out of town for a few days. I don't like to leave things unresolved for that length of time. Then again maybe she forgot about everything the moment that she walked out the door. Now none of this means that I don't like Ann. I still do probably more than I should at this time. In fact she was looking very nice tonight and I had to tickle her more than a few times. To be fair there was another reason for my emotional mood being off. I finally broke down and bought a rewriteable cd drive for my computer and it arrived early this afternoon. So rather than going to sleep, I spent a large part of the afternoon playing with my new electronic gadget. Of course it would have been even better to spend an afternoon in bed with Ann instead of tinkering with computer equipment, but that may or may not be in my future. ... Tracy and I spent many afternoons in bed leaving the rest of the world far away. Personally I am amazed at the amount of sex that we had with a three-year-old child around. Somehow we always managed to find the time. There was the time a few winters ago when I was changing the battery on my car. During the night it had frozen and then subsequently cracked. Earlier in the morning we had gotten a replacement one and I wanted to get it installed before it got dark. It was at least ten degrees below zero at the time and I could barely feel anything with my hands when I heard her voice next to me. I turned around to look and saw her standing in her suede skirt and bodysuit holding a bucket of tools telling me that she was going to be my tool time girl. Now as appealing as that was I made her get her cute ass back in the house so that she wouldn't freeze to death. With me being the hot blooded American male that I am, I couldn't concentrate very well after seeing her in that outfit and managed to strip the threads on the battery cable. After a few more tries I was able to get it on well enough to start the car. Once I was content that it worked, I went straight inside to the bedroom to warm myself up with my tool time girl. ... All of this talk about sex isn't helping my mood.
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