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scottish lowland lassie Lately I seem to have developed a habit of falling asleep almost immediately after getting home from work and I'm not sure if that really bothers me or not. With the end of daylight savings coming soon, one would think that I would want to stay awake a little longer to see the sun, but I like having a bigger block of free time before I have to go to work at night. ... I think that I am the only person at work who truly listens when Ann talks. To paraphrase another coworker, everyone else can feel for her, but they don't want to get involved. I guess that I can see that point of view, but I still want to listen. I couldn't imagine having it any other way. ... Every time that I talk about her, I am sure that she sounds like a charity case, but that would be wrong. She is bright and has a good job. She has goals and aspirations. She knows what she is capable of doing and does it. To me she comes across as being both mildly eccentric and charming at the same time. ... Ann is far more of a geek than I am when it comes to computers. I even have the feeling that she knows more than I do, but this would make sense since she went to school for her job while I didn't. My degree has nothing to do with what I do for a living and I can accept that fact. I also know that Ann uses the online world as more of a social outlet than I do. For example I have never met and then dated someone that was introduced to me through the online world, but I know that she has in the past and is still looking at the moment. Sigh ... So often people speak about what they have in common with the person that they are seeing. Apparently their common interests are the key to making it work, but I can't see any kind of pattern in my past that meets these requirements. Each woman that I dated was different then the one before and I don't remember falling into a pattern of doing the same things together. Personally I think that this has to do with how I changed as a person over time. Nor do I feel the need to repeat myself. Another part of the problem might be that most of what I do to relax is quiet or passive things like reading or watching movies and plays. Both of these things don't really require another person for me to enjoy them and sharing them is difficult to do. Yes, we can watch a movie and or play at the same time, but we would have to take turns reading the same book. Maybe I have a tendency to absorb some of what they like to do with their time since my activities are so limited. One thing that I have never had would be an athletic girlfriend. As close as I came was the one girlfriend who swam on a fairly regular basis, but she was by no means hardcore when it came to physical fitness. Personally I have a feeling that an overly active girlfriend would probably run me into the ground or get more and more upset that I didn't share her enthusiasm for working out or whatever her mode of training might be. ... While I was massaging Ann's neck and shoulders, she said something that took me by surprise. She is thinking of moving again and wants to find a new roommate. She asked me if I would be willing to live with her. Deep breath. I looked into her eyes and asked if she was serious and she said yes. I asked if she would be willing to put up with me all of the time. She asked me if I would be able to stand her. She said that most people can only take her for about a month. Then she mentioned her ex-husband and trailed off. I changed the focus to more practical matters of cost and needs. My lease does end in November, but I said that I would miss my garage. She said that we could find another one with a garage. She didn't need one. She then went on to say that my rent wouldn't go up at all if we lived together. Then I think something happened and the subject was dropped. ... Okay. I am not going to live with her, because I keep telling myself that she was only partly serious when she offered up the idea. Part of me also knows that this would be a mistake and we would both end up very hurt. At the moment I am somewhere in the realm of big brother and or sometime flirting partner to her and I can accept that idea. Living together would change everything even though it would be a two bedroom place. Just the thought of some guy coming over to meet her would send fits through my system. Then the chance of seeing her nude would also be too much for me. I would have to have her. She has to know that I am attracted to her. She must know. Then again maybe she doesn't know and that is why she offered up the invitation.
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