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free at last For the first time in days, I had to squint when I left work this morning and I didn't mind. It was the best way to start my five day vacation. The past two weeks had been dreary enough with me at work for almost all of them, but not seeing the sun made them that much longer. Before I left I had stayed late to eat some breakfast with Ann and talk. It was something that we hadn't done in a long time. Since I first met Ann, the way that we relate has changed. I've seen her first glow then slowly sour over her last boyfriend. Then there was a brief phase of freedom where we got a little closer and did things together outside of work. Soon this was followed by what seemed to be weeks of stress. Suddenly she had to have her daughters with her again and I stepped back from her so that she could do what she wanted. Her life was changing again and I still felt some of those effects whenever I saw her. In ever so small of a way her problems became my problems. Now when I look at her life, I am amazed at the amount of instability in it, some of which is brought about by herself. Her emotions flicker and fade from one person to the next and more than one person has said that she never seems to think that much about the long term effects of her actions. Personally I think that most of what she does has to do with her age. ... My other major source of feminine input would be my buddy Nicole, who is so different from Ann. When Nicole and I talk its more of an exchange. Usually I just sit and listen to Ann rather than saying anything. Another major difference between the two of them is the way that they see work. Ann adores her job and sees it as a means of empowerment, while Nicole would prefer to be fired so that she could get another job. As for my opinion of my job, I fall somewhere in between those two extremes. ... With the sun shining, I slowly fell asleep this afternoon with no real idea of when I wanted to wake up.
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