|
the second day I fell asleep fairly early last night. Something about being awake since three in the morning causes that to happen. Before I drifed off there was a phone call from my dad. He had some important news to deliver. It seems that my brother proposed to his girlfriend of seven years. Hearing this news didn't surprise me. I always knew that my brother would get married before I did. In other ways it also points out how different my brother and I am from each other. So often his life seems to be more focused than mine. One things seems to lead into another for him, while I go from here to there and then back again. I don't mind though. He seems to be happy with his choices and I am happy with mine. My life has certainly not followed one trajectory. If anything I have richoted off of more than one wall through the years. Early this afternoon though I took a small step in correcting my path or at the very least I pointed myself down a new one. I finally got in touch with the right people at the university and I think that I should have everything in order by the end of the month. The day didn't start out on a good note though. Even with the sun shining for the second day in a row, I felt completely miserable this morning. It was day three of my unexpected vacation and I had no idea what I wanted to do for the day. I hadn't asked for today and tomorrow off from work. They were given to me in exchange for working ten in a row starting Thursday night. After a week of holiday gatherings and activities I was left to my own devices and it felt strange for most of the morning. I was lost. I had nowhere to be and nothing overly important to do. The excitement and promise of the new year had faded without me noticing it. Thankfully the feeling wore off shortly after I made those phone calls. An entire day of feeling sorry for myself would have been too much even for me. ... Rather than sitting in the theater today, I sat back on my couch to watch some movies. Yesterday I had walked away from the video store with four of them. My first selection of the day was The Cider House Rules and once again I can see why it didn't take the nation by storm. A film with such topics as abortion and incest is hard to market to the all American family audience. Despite the harsh reality of the film, it still kept my attention and I had to wonder what else was in the book. In the audio commentary, it was said that the film showed how there are two kinds of life. There is the ideal version and then there is the version that everyone lives. It makes sense to me. Quite often I seem to be caught between the two of them. I also wondered when Charlize Theron is ever going to move beyond the girlfriend role in films. I've seen her paired up with Keanu Reeves and Johnny Depp, but she never seems to be the leading character. ... There are days when I wonder if I think too much about life or ask too much from it. I suppose that today was one that fell into that category. Rather than relaxing and enjoying my day off I felt like I should be doing something productive. Work before fun. ... People that are able to live their lives on the surface puzzle me. I can't imagine going through life without asking quesions. I want to know as much as possible about this world that I inhabit. I need to learn new things in order for me to be happy. Sometimes this knowledge is taken from people and when no one is around I take it from art, be it books or movies. I absorb it all. ... A couple of other things happened today that also changed my mood. I was contacted by not one but two of my friends from college. One of them I hear from on a fairly regular basis, but it had been almost a year since I had last heard from the second friend. Both of them are fathers now and hearing them talk about their lives makes me think about how much they have and haven't changed since our days in college. I mean these are the guys that I used to drink with years ago. These are the same people that I would have philosophical discussions about life that would last for hours. Now they both have children depending on them, but they're still the fun people that I knew years ago. Something about talking with someone who knew me from college always makes me feel better. I have a history with these people and I hope that this continues for years to come. They say that the people that you meet during college are the friends that you keep for the rest of your life and for me I would have to say that that is true.
|