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making new plans Since my job is in the computer industry, this past weekend was spent with anxious members of management milling around me as I did my job. Even though I was expecting them to be there, it did make me feel odd. Instead of being able to ease into the weekend like I usually do, I had to look as busy as possible even though there weren't any problems for me to fix. With the lack of any emergencies, most people spent their time watching the various New Year's Eve celebrations on television. The basic facts of the situation were that we were prepared and then nothing out of the ordinary happened. In hindsight I know that this is a good thing, but it all seemed a little silly to me. Now with the all of the madness generated by the new year behind me, I can finally take time to do some thinking and focus on more personal elements of my life. I might even try to list what I hope to do this year, but I have never been very good at making resolutions. The simple truth of the matter is that I'm rather happy with my life at the moment and I can't think of that much that I want to change. I suppose that if I was forced to make a list, there are a couple of things that I want to do this year. One of them would be to take my often mentioned trip to Europe which never seems to get beyond the planning stages. In order to get a little closer to making it happen this year, I have to get together with my brother and nail down some of the details. I doubt that his list of places to see and things to do matches mine, so there is going to have to be some compromises along the way. A second objective for the year would be buying a house of my own. I could finally leave the world of renting behind and maybe make me feel more like an adult. Somehow renting at the age of thirty seems a little less acceptable than at the age of twenty. As to whether or not I can do both of them this year remains to be seen, but I hope that I can do at least one of them. It seems that with the new year, various people have decided to end their journals and I confess that I have also thought of just walking away from my journal. On the one hand it is nice to have over two year's worth of my life written down, but it does take a good deal of effort on my part. If it were truly just for me I doubt that it would even be here. I also know that if it wasn't in the public eye, the writing would be much more fragmented. My paper journals are filled with events written in a style that only I can understand. Here I have to make myself more easily understood, which is one of the reasons I keep going. I do want to make a connection and reach people beyond the small part of the world that I inhabit. So I guess that what I am trying to say is that even though there are so many days when it just does not flow for me, I'm not ready to stop. I may not be able to maintain an entry everyday like I did last year, but I will try. Something about my awkward writing still makes me happy, which is the whole point of doing it. To relax I've been reading the book Shampoo Planet and it's fun to read about someone who at times does remind me of myself. Although I never saw myself quite as hip as the main character, I do try from time to time to project a certain image, but my profile is much more low key.
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