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saturday sun windchill Ann was tired and left work slightly early last night. Before she left we decided on what movie we wanted to see next week Wednesday. Our choice was Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Nicole didn't believe me when I told her what we were going to see. She said that it sounded like a bad code word. This may or may not turn into a group event. It all depends on how many other people want to go with us that night. ... Before I left work this morning, I broke down and told someone that I had taken the exam. I suppose the logical choice would have been Ann, since she already took and passed the exam, but I wanted another point of view. I told the person that according to her is her rival in getting certifications. Obviously this is merely playful competition, because it often seems that she is the only person playing. He only seemed mildly surprised to hear that I took the exam and said that he too was keeping a low profile. People keep asking him when he is going to take the exam and he remains vague. Actually if everyone follows through on this secretive talk, there might be an exodus of four people in the department sometime after May. ... Time. I think that it all comes down to time or more precisely it all seems to be running out for me. Yes, I know that that sounds silly, but it still feels that way to me. One would think that as I get older I would get more patient, but the opposite seems to be happening to me instead. I don't want to waste any more of my time trying to get what I want out of life. The politics of business bores me and most of the time I just filter all of the nonsense out of my life. It isn't worth my time. I can't wait for a company to make changes that might suit me, I have to make them happen myself. Sometimes I feel so tired, but I am not about to settle. Sigh. This silly pep talk is even starting to make me ill. Overall my life is fine. There aren't too many complications and if I compare my life to what Ann is living than I would be in heaven. Of course that isn't fair nor is it right. I am not her and she isn't me. Both of us made very different decisions about life and we both had very different beginnings. There are times when I wish that I had more answers than I do. My opinions waver and then there are those odd revelations. Still I must have learned something to have made it this far. Maybe things will start to make more sense in the coming years. If I'm just a few years from marriage and a family, I can't say. All of that seems so foreign to me. In fact I don't think that I could even find time for a girlfriend right now. Any form of traditional dating isn't really possible now and it was never my style anyway.
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