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those smoking women In one of the final conversations before I left to go home, a coworker was talking about his seventeen year old daughter smoking cigarettes. Apparently this upset him to such a degree that he told his daughter that she would never smoke in front of either him or his wife or in their house. To me this was a classic example of what he can't see won't bother him, because we both knew that this wouldn't stop her from smoking. He then went on to say that he had first smoked when he was thirteen and by the time he was in his twenties he was a two pack a day kind of guy. Then somewhere around thirty both his wife and him just quit and never looked back. I've seen that happen before where a hardcore smoker goes one hundred eighty degrees in the other direction and that made the sermon to his daughter very understandable if not ineffectual. Then the focus of the conversation changed from him and his family to me. He wanted to know if I had ever smoked and the answer was no. I haven't smoked and probably never will. The idea never really appealed to me. Maybe the fact that neither of my parents smoked had something to do with it. No, I remember my mom used to smoke when I was in grade school. There were days when I'd be sent to the local corner store to get a pack for her. Obviously that would never happen today. His next question was whether I had ever dated a woman who had smoked and I said yes. In fact both of the woman that I lived with for a time smoked. Hearing that really surprised him. He didn't think that I would tolerate that in someone and maybe that shows that I more accepting than I appear to be at times. Neither of the women were chain smokers. In fact the first one quit when we first started dating. Then by the time that we were living together smoking was a non issue. It wasn't until the end of the relationship that she started to smoke again to relieve stress and by that time I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to be free of her and she could do whatever she wanted with her life. The second woman smoked on a daily basis and it was more of an after work winding down kind of routine for her. Sometimes she had a cigarette after a meal or before bed, but she never smoked in my car. Yes, she did the after sex smoking thing, which was fine I guess. I never really gave it that much thought at the time. It all just seemed to be a part of her and it didn't bother me that much. I also don't think that we ever really talked about the issue. No, that isn't quite true. Smoking did become an issue when she talked about getting pregnant. I highly doubted that she would be able to quit since that was her main way to relax after work, but she said over and over that she would. Of course we never put that to the test. So the obvious question is would I ever date another woman who smoked? I don't know would be the answer. I'd like to say no, but there might be that one who gets that past me. Yes, that sounds horrible, but it could happen. It isn't as though I have a checklist of things that I ask every woman that I meet. I just don't work that way. Yes, there are things that I avoid, but at the same time I can't get all of my answers at once. I like to think that people are a little more complex than that and I would hope that I don't get attached to someone who is two dimensional. Damn, that didn't make any sense. Suddenly I've created an Andy Richter sketch out of my life like the one where he dates a woman who is a Nazi. Speaking of the exception to the rule, my good buddy Nicole smokes and that hasn't hindered my attraction to her. Maybe her admitting that it's an emotional crutch for her and that she wants to quit makes a difference. She says that she can't quit if her fiance keeps smoking which I can believe. However, I'll never get to test the theory that she'd quit if she were with me, because she won't leave him even though she complains about him. The love is there somewhere or at least I am hoping that it is for her sake. ... After a power nap that almost went too long, I walked into class just in time cursing myself and the traffic under my breath. The usual cast of characters were already in their seats as the professor was handing back an assignment from last week. For those that are keeping score, Amanda had her hair in a ponytail and as I've said before she should wear it down more than she does. The fact that the semester is drawing to a close is becoming more and more obvious from the way that people are acting in class. In general people seem to be less attentive or at the very least their minds seem to be on other matters such as papers and upcoming finals. I could be wrong though and the change of attitude might have more to do with the weather than anything else.
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