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always seeking someone Early this morning at work I had an emotional explosion of sorts and it had nothing to do with work. The cause for excitement was something far more personal than work. The topic of marriage and or the American expectation of what people should do with their lives came up and I went into a full rant on said topic. Lately I've come to feel that that way of life is not for me. I can not believe that there is some woman out there who would want to spend the rest of her life with me. Wait, let me rephrase that in a less self condemning manner. I just think that trying to find said person is a futile effort and I can't devote any time to said project. Okay, that sounds slightly better. Two married coworkers sat and listened as I went on and on in my emotional argument of why I am single. Eventually it must have become a case of protesting too much and one of them said that I have to stop looking, which surprised me. Up until that moment, I didn't realize that I gave the impression that I was looking. Both of them just said that I haven't found the right woman yet. ... Hours have passed by and any more thoughts on the above topic would be stated in a very different frame of mind. Actually I did very little thinking the rest of the day. Instead of thinking about relationships and the chaos that comes with them, I focused on doing very mundane things like laundry, cooking and cleaning. None of those activities require much if any introspection. They just need to be done.
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