reached the plateau

WIth the proper amount of sleep came a clarity about myself that had been denied me most of the week. What I mean to say is that I have started to question if going to school is really going to make me happy. Yes, I am having doubts when I've already taken about half of the classes that I need to finish. This may or may not be a good thing as I have a habit of saying.

Have I struggled when I shouldn't have struggled? Should I just accept where I am and save money for other things?

It occurred to me that with the money I spent on tuition this year, I could easily have gone on another vacation. Of course I don't that much vacation time, but I did have the money. Then again the same money could have been put towards my mortgage and or some new furniture for my place. Another more frivolous option would have been a new big flat screen television. I could have spent the money in so many different ways than on school.

There are people in my department who seem to be content with what the job offers them. In fact one person is now expecting their first child and to me that means that they are going to stay with the company for a long time or at least until the mother is able to go back to work. I don't know what their long range plans might be and it really isn't my business to know.

If I wasn't going to school I could get more sleep during the week. I could spend less time on the road and put less miles on my car.

Why should I want to see as much of the world as possible when other people seem content to just go to places like Disneyland or Las Vegas? Am I being a snob? Am I asking too much from life?

I should just settle down, raise a family and be happy with that kind of life.

No. I don't think so and I don't mean that in an emphatic way. I just know that I am not looking to stop just yet. As tired as I might be during the week, I do still get some pleasure from school that work could never give me. Nor do I think that I would be happy spending vacation money on a big screen television. That kind of behavior isn't me.

Sometimes I come across as a bit of a flake, but I do know that I see the world differently than most people. Maybe if I'd never have gone to Europe and Australia I wouldn't feel the way that I do, but I have been to those places and I only want to see and do more of the same.

 
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