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december cloud cover There are times when I let myself get depressed and it shouldn't happen as easily as I let it. Nothing truly bad happened today, but for most of the afternoon I just sat around my house moping or trying to figure out what to do next with my life. Naturally more than one thing led to this behavior. First of all, today was the last day of class and as weird as it might sound I am going to miss being on campus. As of now I have no idea if I am going back in the spring since only one class that I need is being offered and I have yet to get the permission from the department to take it. Being in school is definitely something that I need in my life. Not only does it make me think it also keeps my social life alive. Where else can I find that many intelligent and motivated women in one place? Where else can I expect to find a young charming woman waiting to tell me what happened since our last class together? That energy is something that I want and need in my life. For example, when I got to the campus this afternoon, I saw my crush sitting down outside the classroom. I decided to give her a little space and sat on the opposite side of the hall. I had only been there a moment when Heidi was there next to me on the ground. Then she launched into her most animated story yet. I have no idea why she was so excited, but at the same time it made the last day of class a fun one. I have yet to decide if I am going to try and do something with her over the break. The second disappointment of the day had to do with my next trip. I had thought that I had finalized everything for New Zealand, but learned that I was wrong when my sister leaves me a telephone message saying that she can't afford to go. Sigh. I could still try and go by myself, but it will cost me more since the package was geared more for two people than a solo effort. Once again what I'll be doing in January is an unknown for me and that bothers me. |