Very Milwaukee

I am going to abandon America Online very soon and because of this I spent part of the afternoon transferring some of the archives over to Simplenet. I should finish within the next few days or at least I hope to be done within the next few days. The daily entry will be here though no matter what happens to the archives.

The ISP that I finally decided would work for me has a very smooth connect time and seems to be reliable. Now no one can pick on me for being on America Online, but they can still pick on my prose or layout. Part of the decision for the move was image related and some of it was money related.

So much has been on my mind lately, but I haven't had time to put it down in words. Yes, I know that I give about eighty percent of my free time to Brenda. Part of that is my fault and part of it is hers. She is a very possessive person and we both realize that fact. Maybe I see it more than her, but I'm not running away yet even though there are things that she says that make me shudder from time to time.

The more that I try to justify us, the more it seems like there is a problem. It becomes a no win scenario. The only thing that I am going to say is that I have yet to see two people or a couple that was not considered dysfunctional by someone.

God, how I loathe that word dysfunctional. I really wished that I lived in a time before pyschoanalysis and all of the baggage that comes with it. Let's talk about it. How do you feel about that? Should we start you on some medication? Hmmm. When did people cease to be people and become case studies?

People always love to try to solve other peoples problems. The rows of self help books attest to this fact. Shit, I really have to start my own cult.

Enough whining and on with the daily activities.

The more time that I spend with Brenda, the more I realize how much Milwaukee has shaped her personality. Oh, wait a minute, here I go analyzing her. No, I am just trying to describe her so just shut and listen.

Milwaukee as I said is a very blue collar kind of town. Beer and food seem to be the common focus of most people here and she falls nicely into this category. Last night we went to visit her aunt. All that we did was just sit around and drink beer, which was fine but I could just as easily have done something else. Yes, we did argue last night.

Here in Milwaukee, a person gets a job and raises a family. Its just that simple.

Sometimes she goes beyond that little circle that I painted, but at heart she seems to be a very work oriented person that wants a family to love. That certainly was a loaded statement. Here I am dancing around the topic again.

I would not consider myself representative of Milwaukee. Yes, I did grow up in Milwaukee, but most of my adult life was spent in other parts of the state. Milwaukee like I said is a very blue collar kind of town, but I really don't see myself as that kind of person. I can understand the mindset, but it isn't me. I am more of a dreamer and want more from life than beer and food. Suddenly I am reminded of something that I read somewhere that said people create their own prisons.

Some things in the near future include Brenda going to Ohio for some work related training in March. I'll be free for a week. Those were her words not mine, but it will be nice to have a break from her.

Twice this week I have had some time to myself and enjoyed it. Wednesday night and tonight was just me and I could do whatever I wanted. Relaxing in my own house seemed so wonderful. Yes, this is the same person who might leave the house just to get the mail and go back inside for the day. Isolation need not be a negative.

My house is more than a place full of objects. Where I live is an extension of who I am. I almost sound spiritual here.

Well, I am getting very tired and I want to sleep.