Gaining Speed

I have decided not to attempt to reconstruct what happened on the days that I have missed. Yes, I will make some references to what happened, but I doubt that I will create individual entries for the past three days. This seems to be the best route for me, because most of the initial momentum is gone and the details have faded. I also hope that the length of this entry compensates for the missing entries in some small way.

Another key point that I should mention is that all next week Brenda will be in Minneapolis, so I can not use her as an excuse for not updating on a daily basis. My hope is that the journal will be somewhat stronger next week, because the entries will be less rushed and more thought out.

Now for some brief recaps on what happened before today.

Friday night Brenda and I went out drinking. Yes, the humble author of these chronicles does drink now and again. No, this was not something that we had planned to do that night. A friend of hers from work talked her into going out.

I had rushed home from work to see her and she was not there. So I waited and wondered. Then I get the phone call from the bar. I sent some guilt her way about her not being there when I got home, because she had done the same thing to me a few weeks back. I had ruined her surprise and now I was going to let her know that she ruined mine. Yes, I can be petty, but I was trying to prove a point.

First of all, I have to say that bars have not changed at all since I stopped going to them years ago. In my opinion they are very depressing places full of depressing people. I want to walk out of them as soon as I walk through the front door. Now that I am done complaining about bars in general, I have to say that I have seen worse bars.

Saturday night was a candle party at Brenda's mom's place, so I had some time by myself and I enjoyed it. I had thought that I would have the whole day to myself, but I over slept and she came home from work early.

On Sunday I met Brenda's father for the first time. She talks about him quite a bit and I guess that he was like I imagined him to be. I really don't know what else to say at this point. Its hard for me to form an opinion of someone in a two hour meeting.

There were two brief moments of conflict between Brenda and myself yesterday. The first happened shortly after we woke up. She wanted to hurry to the laundromat. I, however, didn't see that as the place to be at that time of the day. When I wake up, I like to take my time. For most of the week its just the cat and myself, so I get my time. Then I have a nice commute to readjust to everything. On the weekends I have to tailor my time a little more to meet her needs. Sigh.

Hanging out in the laundromat is not my idea of a good transition from sleeping to waking. The Sunday edition of the newspaper saved me. As much as I like to people watch, reading is even better. Human contact in the morning is not for me.

I looked through the employment section while I was there and felt good about myself. I know enough that I can move on to somewhere else. The terminology is familiar to me and I have the practical experience as well. Hope exists again for me. I just need to refine the resume and learn as much as possible in the coming months. I realize that what I know is valuable even though I am not a guru by any means. Its all in how I market myself. Presentation is the key word here.

The second conflict came into play when she decided to clean house. Now this is her house and I have no idea how she cleans, so I did not volunteer to help. I also have my own place to clean. She made some comment about me being lazy and I started to leave, because I felt that this was unwarranted. After some discussion she said that she was only teasing. I did manage to prove another point though. There are times when our sarcasm digs a little too deep into another.

Small details from today.

I woke to snow on my car this morning. This really didn't surprise me, because I knew that it was coming. March is not the end of winter in Wisconsin and I don't see this as a bad thing either. Winter is part of reality. A part of reality that I like here.

I read some more of the Orson Welles biography at lunch this afternoon. Yes, I know that I started the book over a month ago, but this is very much how I am. I start a book and then something else comes along and takes its place. I am still thoroughly enjoying the book, though. The self destruction seems so epic in nature. I am amazed at the way Orson brought himself down.

This morning had to be the most productive that I have been at work in a long time. Everything seemed to click. So naturally most of my enthusiasm faded in the afternoon and I spent most of it sighing.

Well, this entry was slightly better than the one that I uploaded for yesterday.

 

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