Trampoline

For some reason Brenda changed the clock. Usually she sets the clock in the bedroom ahead by fifty minutes. Yes, I said fifty minutes. This morning though she had set the clock ahead by only thirty minutes. Why I do not know. What I do know is that it almost made me late for work.

What really bothered Brenda about me the other day is that I questioned her ability to be supportive in a situation. I felt that she was overreacting and she thought that she was being a good niece. She was fulfilling her family obligations. My outlook is that if they needed help they would have gotten it. They are capable of taking care of themselves. Once again I stress the fact that no one was hurt in the storm and its not as though they were suffering. Another relative there even suggested that they stay in a hotel if it was that bad, but this idea was dismissed by her aunt. Its a simple fact that a person can not help people if they do not want help.

Brenda said very little to me last night which was not unexpected. I could be sexist and say that I know part of the reason for her foul mood is that it is that time of the month for her. The past few months have taught me that she is not a pleasant person to be around when she is having her period. Even her aunt will support me on this point. I should also mention that she had her first audit at the new store yesterday and it did not go well. So I had the influence of her period and her anxiety about her upcoming audit working against me Monday night when we went to her aunt's house. I am sure that whatever I might have done would not have been right. She would say that I am being unfair, but she has been known to change the rules herself from time to time.

Last night was the first time in days that I had time to myself to think. Most of the weekend was a blur of running here or there. There wasn't any time for reflection or just plain relaxing. Friday night was poker and drinking at Brenda's mom's house. Saturday was more drinking at her aunt's house. Sunday was laundry, moving furniture and emptying the waterbed. We had to empty the waterbed so that we could move it away from the wall, because her apartment was being painted on Monday. All of this running around and very little sleep tends to make me irritable, but Brenda doesn't seem to understand.

I also want to mention that I don't think that Brenda went to see her aunt last night. If she did, she did not stay there long. I guess that it would have been too embarrassing to go see her aunt without me. My not being there would have shamed her. Sigh.

On a more positive note, work was been tolerable and in general relatively stress free. All of this might change next week, because Nick will be gone. What this means is that I get to step up from my usual sidekick role to that of captain of the ship. If for some reason we run aground it will be my fault. I can hardly wait.

Another casualty from this weekend besides my computer time was my reading. The Camus book should have only taken a day or two, but I have yet to pick it up in nearly a week. I'll be the first to admit that some of what I like to do is not a group activity, but that is me. I have never said that it was not important to me to do things by myself. Nor do I see a sudden change in my interests happening in the near future. Art, books, film and music are what keep me going day to day. They make me happy.

For long time readers this won't matter, but for anyone new it might matter. I just got done eliminating any reference to America Online in my journal. All of those old links should be gone. The month of September was the last to convert and now it also has Simplenet at the bottom. Yes, when Brenda is away for the night I do wild and exciting things like reorganizing my archives.

I am starting to wonder where she is tonight. I thought that she had the day off. Maybe this is the end or the beginning of the end.