Source of gossip

It was to be expected. The word is out that I am leaving the company and I can feel a change in the mood of the people around me. A few people have asked me why and I give an honest response.

Oh, I know that a formal announcement will be made sometime next week, but its still awkward as I move through the day. I can feel the rift between the company and me already widening.

Sometimes its almost as though I had the mark of Cain on me. I'm the traitor in their midst or some other form of nonsense. Whatever. Actually none of this surprises me, because its just human nature. People will always have their opinions of other people and nothing that I can do will change that fact. Somehow I know that a year from now all of this commotion will be just memories.

Here I am mixing emotion and business again, but I can't help it. My reaction is very indicative of how I frequently take things very personally even when I shouldn't. Nearly two years of my life was spent in this building and now I am walking away from it all for the last time. The routine has been broken and I have to keep telling myself what is going on so that I understand it better. I try to reconcile their point of view with mine, even though I know I will fail. Quite simply we are on opposing sides now and there is no turning back. Regret can not enter my mind.

What makes it even harder is that I really don't have the stomach for all of the posturing that goes on in the world of business. The competitive part of business annoys me rather than motivates me. The concept of the team is a myth to me. All that I want is a job that doesn't bore me to death and allows me to live fairly stress free. Yes, I have become the average worker in America.

My boss jokingly asked me if I was sure that I wanted to leave. He also mildly taunted me about my ability to do my new job. For the most part, I was mute. It isn't worth my time to get upset anymore. Besides they couldn't offer me enough money to stay and my mind is made up that my future lies elsewhere.

One thing does make me laugh though. The last company that I left went under a year later. Who knows what might happen this time.