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another month ends Most of last night at work was spent talking with another coworker about work. Another option that came out the discussion was one where I ignore work and focus on other things. I could simply make this my year of vacations. One vacation would be in April and then I would take another one in August. I would break the year into more manageable pieces. I know that I can afford them and I can do whatever I want with my life. I could stop trying to change my position at work and just go with the flow and come back to it at a later date. I'm not sure if I can tolerate work for that long though. I should also mention that lately I have been more than liberal with sarcastic statements at work. If I went with the ignore approach without the vacations I would be uttering pure bile in no time. Even though I was sick last week I did take a more aggressive approach at work. Since I finished my project I was looking for something else to do and stuck my paw into a project that belonged to someone else. She had left it out in the open and I made some changes to it. I should also explain that her project affects all of us and before she took control it was open to everyone. Well it seems that I made it worse rather than better. The next day when I came into work I was greeted by a less than tactful note that said hands off. Sigh. Okay. Whatever. Now in my mind I thought that this behavior would be a clue that I was bored and needed something to occupy my time. Instead I got some mild finger waving in my general direction and it was forgotten. I keep questioning if I should approach management with my situation and part of me really hates this idea. Management for me are the people who balance the departmental budget and give me my paycheck. As far as I am concerned those are the extent of their duties. I don't want them to be my buddy or parental figure. I don't want them in my head. Nor do I see them as problem solvers even though some of them set themselves up in that position. Past experience has taught me that management is more double talk than anything else. Over the past few days I have composed a lengthy email to my boss about what I am feeling, but I have to be careful of what I say. There is a fine line between expressing a concern and whining. Nor do I want to rock the boat too much just yet. My preference for an email as opposed to a face to face meeting is that I am liable to be more extreme in person. Either I'll back down and not get my point across or I'll get too emotional and not be taken seriously. The quick pop analysis of why I rearrange my house would be that it is easier to change my surroundings than it is to change myself. Personally I doubt that it is anything that dramatic. I simply see my house as an extension of myself and it gives me a small creative outlet. The new lamps give my house more of a golden glow and make it seem even cozier than before. I meant to include a link to this site the other day when I was talking about the Chinese New Year.
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