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the calm returns The emotional storm from yesterday has passed and I couldn't be happier. I don't take any pleasure from having anger run my life. There was a time that I thought it might have some positive use in my life, but more and more I have come to believe that it doesn't have any real value at all. What it does do is leave me emotionally drained and I regret all of the time that I wasted. Here I put so much time and effort into my anger and very little came of it. So I try hard not to let myself get worked up over things, but I still do and the housing issue certainly bothered me on a couple different levels. First of all, a line was crossed when they entered my personal space without my permission and that is something that I can neither forget nor forgive. It was a violation of trust and things will never be the same between us. Quite simply I no longer trust them and I wonder if should have in the very beginning. I had forgotten that my interests will always come before theirs and I need to protect myself. Secondly, I am bothered by what being a tenant or renter implies in the minds of some people. Somehow it makes me a second class citizen in the eyes of some people. They mistakenly see it as a sign of failure or that I don't know how to manage money very well. According to society, once again I have fallen behind in the guide to life. I should be married by now and have a house of my own. I need to get with the program. Sigh. Whatever. Trust me. I will own a house in due time just give me the respect that I deserve as a person.
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