fixed and uncertain
My life. Those are two simple words to describe something that I still don't quite understand. I try so hard not to make it a daily series of questions and answers, but sometimes that is the way that it turns out. Maybe life would seem less serious if I didn't wonder about it so much. Every day I examine the smallest details turning them over and over in my mind until it they almost become fiction. Moments of time get weighed and evaluated. I create my own pie of chart of life assigning values to each new slice.
On the whole everything is good. The job is tolerable and for now will do. Maybe a year from now it will be something that I despise, but at the moment I am willing to stay where I am. The housing situation has also reached a point of stability and my next step can wait until I return from my trip.
I avoid the often abused word known as lonely. It has such negative connotations and seems so overwrought to me. I wouldn't use that word to describe me, but there are times when it would be nice to have someone new to talk with on a regular basis. It has been a long time since I met someone with more of an artistic view of the world or someone that challenged me. As much as like the people at work, their view of the world is so different from mine. My life is not centered around providing for a family nor will it be that way any time soon..
The trip is less then two weeks away and I have a few more things to do before I leave. I can't make up my mind if I want to stay in a bed and breakfast or a hotel.