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on to the next step Most of my post vacation high has disappeared and been replaced by mild disorientation. What I mean is that I'm not sure what I want to do next with my life. While I was away I really hadn't given much if any thought to what I wanted to do when I got back home. Oh, being home is nice enough, but I still can't seem to get back into what was my normal routine before I left. On the other hand that might be a sign that I should start over with a new focus on what is important to me. If there were some way that I could adapt what I did all last week into my regular life, then everything would be perfect. However, I can't very well just drive all day and discover some new part of the state that I haven't been to before. There is the small matter of my job that prevents me from doing something along those lines or at least keeps it confined to the weekend. A reasonable compromise would be finding a way to keep the same momentum that I had while I was away from here. I want life to be that exciting everyday if I can have it or at the very least make it happen a little more often. For the most part I am happy with the way my job is now except for the times when I look around at the other people in my department and wonder if I am doing enough. Some of my coworkers are going to school and are in that climbing mode, where they don't see any limits to what they can accomplish. Then I remind myself that I've already done my time in school and acknowledge the fact that they are at least five years younger than I am. These people really aren't my peers and I shouldn't compare myself with them. They are at a different stage in life than I am. It is time for me to reap some of the rewards of having a good paying job. If I went back to school now, I wouldn't have any time to enjoy life, because everything that I would do would be for some glorified future. I want to get the most out of now. We are going to be losing a key member of our group at work, so there will be an opening on first shift. Even if I had the same amount of experience as the person leaving, I doubt that I would apply for the job. Getting a better job simply isn't the focus of my life at this moment. It just provides me money so that I can do other things that I enjoy doing. It isn't my reason for being. It isn't how I define myself. My focus now is to have fun and take another trip before the end of the year. Generally speaking I would have to say that my life is good. Most of what had been causing me stress has been removed from my life. The issues with the house have disappeared and my job is stable. I see no reason why I can't shift my priorities to enjoying life. It is summer after all when people are supposed to relax and have fun.
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