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enough rationalization Sigh. Well, I certainly spoke too soon about being immune. This morning after work I fell asleep easily enough, but I am pretty sure it was the heat that woke me a mere three hours later. Of course I don't want to even try to imagine what my place would be like without air conditioning. Pure torture in a sweatbox might cover it. Now that I think about it some more I probably wouldn't be sweating. I'd just be dead from heat exhaustion. I am finding it hard to believe that there is only one day left in July. Then again summer only lasts so long and I like to think that I am getting the most out of it this year. There was the trip to Canada in June and quite a few weekends in the pool. So on the surface I seem to be doing a pretty good job. I find it odd that I am complaining about summer going by so quickly. It isn't as though I have to go back to school in a few weeks. No one will be dragging me to the stores to get some new back to school clothes. I don't have to wait in the bookstore line for hours getting textbooks that will only be used once. All of those things are in the past. Although I have to confess that I don't think that I would mind having a class this fall. It would be nice to be in that kind of environment again. Maybe the heat has started to affect me. Suddenly I started to wonder why I let what other people say to me linger for so long in my mind. Besides the one coworker complaining about work, which I think must be an American tradition, another coworker tried to drag me into a political discussion which I usually avoid as much as possible. He did however bait me by saying why he didn't read The New Yorker. It was too liberal for him. Sigh. People always have to label things so that they can understand them better. So I threw a quick barb back at him by showing him the back page of the issue that poked fun at the National Rifle Association, knowing full well that he has a small arsenal at his house. Without trying to sound too New Age whiny or faux Zen, I try to avoid pointless discussions. Politics does not interest me. Oh, I know that in some abstract way what the government says does have an impact on my life, but it all seems so distant to me. I should also mention that I see myself as apolitical, not apathetic. There is a difference there. Yes, there are issues that I care about in politics, but I try not to force my opinions on others unless they want to hear what I have to say. Besides I know how to manipulate people. Anger is the easiest emotion to generate and very seldom results in anything positive. It just isn't worth my time. Then the barrage of questions started going through my mind. Do other people listen as well as I do when other people are talking? From what I can tell most people let what they hear travel in one ear and out the other without a second thought. Do people really what to learn new things? Are people even open to new ideas? Do most people dwell in a world where they are at the center? Do my words carry as much weight with them? Or is my belief system that fragile that each new piece of information that I acquire I feel compelled to integrate into myself. There are so many times when the human race disappoints me and I am truly surprised that we have lasted as long as we have on this planet. Of course it is easy for me to sit here and throw out these quaint little observations on life. In relation to millions of people on the planet, I have a very good life. I live in one of the wealthy countries in the world where food and shelter are not a daily struggle. I have a family that loves me and I am only responsible for myself. I can spend hours of my time just contemplating all of these various questions about life. I am not worrying about feeding a family. No one else depends on my paycheck. I am young, healthy and single. My life is truly in my hands and I am happy about that fact. I also feel like mentioning that yes it would be nice to have a girlfriend, but my time is very limited now and I want to avoid repeating mistakes that I have made in the past. Whoa. I have no idea where all of this is coming from right now. All that I do know is that once I woke this afternoon falling back asleep was close to impossible. More than likely my ass will be dragging at work tonight, but I don't care. All that stands between me and my vacation is two more night of work. Next week should be the most relaxing of the trips that I have taken this year. Three hours of sleep sure does make me chatty.
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