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fixed events Calm. Most of today was very calm which was something that I needed after having put the busiest part of the week behind me. I was so relaxed that I slept the best that I have all week. Maybe I could say that it was the new bed, but I can't be certain. What I do know is that the mild anxiety and restlessness from yesterday had faded. After I woke up, I was content to stay home for the night. Running out to see a movie just didn't sound that appealing. Staying home and just being by myself was what I wanted. In a small way time has slowed down for me. Yesterday I was starting to wonder what I was going to do for the rest of the year. I thought that I needed to conjure up some kind of plan or a blueprint for the next four months. The usual questions of whether or not I am pushing myself enough or getting as much as I can out of life started up. Today, however, I was content to just live for the moment. I suppose that I could call these mood swings, but that doesn't seem quite right. Something else happens to me. I watch as my world expands and contracts with me in the center. One day I think that I am wasting my life away and then the next I couldn't be happier with my life. My perspective changes so easily and maybe this is natural or maybe it isn't. What I do know is that very little in my life stays the same and I always have to adapt. The changes may not always be dramatic or happen quickly, but I do change. All that I have to do to see the change is look back at what I wrote here the past two years. In the brief span of this journal, I've changed jobs, cars, and landlords. Then on a more personal front I gained and lost a girlfriend. Now this may not seem overly busy to some people, but that is how I live. I can only take life in small amounts with the occasional rush here and there. I also feel that I couldn't have predicted any of these changes and that makes it that much better.
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