Fuck.

Fucky fucky fuck-ass fuck.

I take the Earhart Expressway home every day. There are no exits between where I get on the Expressway and where it ends in plain old Earhart Boulevard.

As I got on the Expressway yesterday I noticed three things:

• My "Check Engine" light was on.
• My speedometer wasn't working.
• The automatic transmission was failing to shift gears.

As a rule, you shouldn't drive thirty miles an hour on anything named "Expressway." People honk and make rude hand gestures.

But I did!