Recapping Sunday

I did two things on Sunday forthe first time ever:

1. I ate a raw oyster.
2. I went to a titty bar.

I think it was a pretty successful day. 

We got up, late and kind of grumpy and hangover-y, but Sonya suggested brunch. This was a good idea. We went to Kabby's and ate fucking piles of rich and exotic food, all washed down with champagne and orange juice. This is where I ate the aforementioned oyster. I waited until Sonya, Siobhan and Becky were at the table to eat it so if I yakked at least they would be entertained. It was good. I'll eat one again.

Then we went walking through the heat to try and find the Decadence parade. Walking in the heat with a belly full of rich food was not a good idea.

"I thought she was going to honk," Siobhan said later.

We caught up with a couple of segments of the parade and had the unique pleasure of having to worm our way through the nearly-naked, sweaty throng outside Oz. Most impressive part of the parade: a priest leading a bunch of good-looking guys. The guys were dressed like schoolboys.

"Boys!" the priest said.

"Yes, father?" the boys responded.

"Always remember to love one another," the priest told them.

And then the guys all made out.

We stopped by Tropical Isle for hand grenades. These made us drunk and adventurous. So, after a stop at Dark Entry (where they had my cool new shirt for twenty bucks more than I paid for it - bargain!) we went to the titty bars.

See, Becky wanted to buy Siobhan a lap dance. Sonya and I asked around, and the consensus seemed to be that Rick's is the best place in town.

But first we went to the Sho-Bar, lured in by the lack of cover. It was kind of seedy, just some seats in front of the stage and few couches in back where a couple of thuggish pimp-types lingered. The first dance was cute and so happy when she found out that Sonya and I were locals and that Becky and Siobhan were from New York.

The second dancer, though...not that she wasn't cute, because she was. But she was also nine months pregnant. I'm like, "babe, get off your feet already." But no. She was kind of pushy, too, asking for an extra dollar from Sonya and telling Becky and Siobhan that they could "molest each other" while she gave them a private dance. When we left the pregnant girl was smoking at the bar.

So we went to Rick's. Surprisingly, there was no cover, happy hour prices were cheap like a regular bar, the girls were all pretty and the place was totally nice. You could have a wedding reception there if it weren't for all the naked chick. Very classy.

Best stripper moment: I went to give this very sexy girl a buck. 

"Now, don't be surprised by what I do to you," she said to me.

"Whoa," I said, "my wife's right over there. Watch it, now."

She smiled at me. "I'm not going to do anything to disrespect your wife."

Aw. How sweet.

Then she proceeded to lick the length of her thigh.

"Damn!" I said, impressed. "That's hot!"

This seemed to amuse her.

We also saw GiO dance, and she's a fucking legend - the queen of New Orleans strippers. Cute as can be, too. I'd take people to see her, she's that impressive. She wasn't just dancing around - she had an act and did tricks and everything. She came by our table after her dance and said she works there every Saturday and Sunday. If you're in town I can't recommend it enough.

After a few hours there (A few hours. On a Sunday afternoon. At a titty bar. I love it.) we went on the haunted history tour and then had a final round of beignets before bed. 

Boobs! Oysters! Beer!