I was walking the dog this afternoon. At the corner of Urania and Coliseum I found a scythe. It was plastic, but I didn't mess with it too much. I figured it was bad mojo. I just hung it on the fence of the apartment building there.

So hey, Death, if you're reading: you dropped something, dude.

All summer a bunch of bananas has been hanging outside our bedroom window. They were from a tree in our neighbor's yard.

In the wake of the two tropical storms, though, the tree has died and the bananas have been going very bad. Over the last few days rotten bananas have been raining down on our back yard next to the door. They are splattery and stinky and very, very gross.

Today I spread a large plastic tarp under the bunch of bananas. Then I went to the bedroom, opened the window and reached out with a big knife. I sawed away and seconds later the bananas dropped with a satisfying smooshing sound.