My friend Doug came over tonight to drink wine and play Grand Theft Auto, amongst other things. As soon as he walked in the door he shoved a small parcel under my nose.

"Smell that?" he asked.

Indeed I did. Imagine a really stinky foot...or an ass...or possibly a foot that had been stuck up an ass. That's what this smelled like.

And it was cheese!

Everybody ate it, too, and raved about how good it was.