Sonya and I went to the car wash yesterday so I could vacuum out the water that had accumulated in the floorboards.

"I gotta vacuum both sides," I told her, "there's water behind the passenger seat, too."

"Is there?" Sonya asked, "I didn't think so..."

She looked around into the back seat. At the same time I reached into the back seat.

Predictably, I smashed Sonya in the nose with my elbow.

She cried. I laughed and felt horrible, of course.

"I'll write a note if I need to," I said, "certifying that you're not a domestic abuse victim. It was an accident!"