The five questions that every lame motherfucker in the universe answers on Friday and if you answer them you might as well get a livejournal account and put up some clip art of cats:

1. What did you have for breakfast this morning?  I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, half of another one (that is, the same amount of peanut butter and jelly but on one piece of bread, folded over), a dill pickle and a glass of iced tea. Shut up, and don't you judge me. I've known since I was a little Harold that pickles go well with peanut better and jelly, and you'd know it too if you'd just come down off your snooty high horse and try it.
2. What's your favorite cereal? I don't eat cereal, as a rule. It's such a drab, joyless food, and it never seems to fill me up. That said, though, and with no other food options available, I will eat a bowl of frosted flakes. But I won't get too excited about it.
3. How often do you eat out? Do you want that to change? Well, it all depends on what you mean by eating out. Several times a week I'll run to Taco Bell and grab a burrito for lunch, but I hardly call that eating out. Now, the Wife and I will get take-out for dinner once or twice a week, and I do consider that eating out. And we usually go out for breakfast once or twice on the weekend, so you can do the math on all that. And why would I want that to change? Shortly after I got married I remember reading an article in Reader's Digest about some sort of young woman on welfare who squandered her money on "store-bought clothes and restaurant meals." She ended up a hooker. I was worried about that the rest of college, but now I know it doesn't matter. You gotta eat, and you usually have to pay for it.
4. What do you plan on having for dinner tonight?  Sonya and I are driving to Memphis tonight. The standard food on this trip is Krystal burgers at the combination Exxon/Krystal in Gluckstadt, Mississippi. I ate a bunch of pizza at lunch, though, so I might not want any Krystals. Especially since I'll be driving. Sonya usually drives to Gluckstadt, and I drive the rest of the way to Memphis. I find I don't get so sleepy when I'm hungry. So the short answer is
   • Krystals, or
   • Nothing.
5. What's your favorite restaurant? Gosh, that's a hard one. That's like, "what's your favorite song?" This summer when we were in New York Sonya and Kent and James and I were starving and in desperate need of something cheap; Siobhan recommended Dojo and we ate the hell out of some burgers and hummus. It was wonderful. And one summer when I was in college Sonya and I were home for a weekend and my whole family got a table for, like, twenty or something at the Rendezvous and we ate ribs and drank beer for hours and that was a great fucking meal. For our tenth anniversary Sonya and I went to Delmonico; I've never been catered to by my own staff before and I think I deserve it, plus the food was some of the best I've ever eaten. But hell, if you're really hungry a quarter pounder tastes like heaven, so it depends.