Guess what I got at the Kmart Friday?

Clippers!

[Note: the clippers linked to above are not the actual clippers I purchased; they are merely representative of the gadget in question.]

I mean, I get my hair clippered at Super Cuts, right? And you should see some of the mouth breathers who've cut my hair there and done a decent job of it.

Any moron can use clippers, I thought.

Hey, I can use clippers!

So I got some clippers. Saturday morning I went out in the back yard, plugged in the clippers and went to work with the number one guard.

Yes, we have an electrical outlet in the back yard. There's a lot of hair back there, too. Now.

So I clipped for a while then knocked on the door to get Sonya to check me out. I wasn't wearing my glasses, but she assured me she made a face 'cause I looked like ass. I might have missed a few spots. She came out and finished up my haircut.

"That's easy," she said, "we could do that every Saturday."

Now I am sleek!