The author rocking the southern gentleman drag, June 2008.

My name is Harold.

I was born on July 28, 1972. My mother was unconscious, my father was not present. It's the way things were done in those days.

I'm a Leo. Say what you will about horoscopes, but the description of the prototypical Leo is me all the way. I don't know why.

I have green eyes, a big smile and a pretty-much shaved head. When your hair thins out, you have to own it.

I got married on February 16, 1991. Her name is Sonya. I'm crazy about her.

We were married at the Second Baptist Church in West Memphis, Arkansas. It was packed full of friends and family. I wore a black jacket, black Z. Cavaricci pants, a skinny leather zip-up tie and big clomping Milli Vanilli shoes.

On reflection, the outfit was probably a mistake.

I grew up in West Memphis, then moved to Conway, Arkansas to go to college. After college I moved to Memphis, and I lived there for five years.

In the summer of 2000 I moved to New Orleans, Louisiana. I love the city. The people talk funny.

On November 10, 2003, my son John was born. He is an active, talkative, opinionated young man who would be hard to stand if he weren't so totally charming and devastatingly handsome. He's better company than most adults, too.

Sonya, John and I left New Orleans the day before Hurricane Katrina hit. In the months that followed, we made the difficult decision not to return and, instead, to resettle in Memphis. I still miss living there, but I love Memphis, too. For the most part, things have worked out.

I live in a house in the suburbs of Memphis. I mow the yard, wash the cars, and play in the back yard with the kid. I love suburban life, and I say that with no irony at all. I like the anonymity, the garbage cans lined up by the street on Friday morning, the quiet nights.

I went to high school at West Memphis Christian and college at the University of Central Arkansas. This particular combination of schools produces exceptionally fine human beings.

I drive a 2000 Volvo S40. Yes, I am someone's liberal dad.

I'm a Mac user. PCs are needlessly complex. It irritates me that more people don't realize this.

I like to travel, though that seems like a silly thing to declare. Who doesn't like to travel? "Oh no, dear, I don't like going to new places."

I think riding on trains is pretty cool.

I was a vegetarian for about nine months, once. It didn't take.

I smoke socially, especially when I drink. Doesn't everyone? But once upon a time I was a solid pack-a-day guy, so I think I'm doing pretty good.

I like booty-shaking music of all types: hip-hop, teeny-pop, gay disco, mash-ups. If it makes you want to boogie and/or has an insanely catchy chorus then I probably like it. 

I've kept this journal since April of 1998. Why? Because not enough people have been exposed to my unequaled genius.


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