I purchased two things yesterday. One made me happy. The other does not.

The one that made me happy was Sim City 2000. I love it! I used to play it for hours on my friend Jon's computer - he had a buggy old first-generation Pentium and it crashed constantly, but I loved making a little city for my people. Then I played it again for the first time in years at James' house the other night and that was it. Had to have it. Got it used at a second-hand software store for ten bucks. I built a huge, sprawling metropolis last night...and I saved it.

I hear the call of my people...I will spend another night with them, I think.

Meanwhile, Sonya has discovered the pleasures of Poppy Brite (lots of nipples, lots of spit) so she doesn't care what I do, just as long as I let her read.

Now as for the unhappy purchase...

Okay, this is for my male readers: who's got the nose hair goin' on? You know what I'm talking about...you look in a mirror, crinkle your nose a certain way and voila - you have a moustache! Here lately it's been terrible. Every time I go by a mirror and no one's around I have to tilt my head a certain way just so I can make sure an unruly thatch of nostril fur isn't trying to grow down to my chin. And then I'm just transfixed with horror by this thicket inside my nose.

Not a bunch of lovely images, is it?

Really now, nose hair is an old man thing. And I'm not just saying this 'cause I had a birthday the other day. I don't feel old. I have yet to feel old. But you don't see guys my age with nose hair, ever. Do you trim it, guys? Does the barber do it? I suppose this is one of the perils of growing up fatherless: lack of nose-grooming know-how. You'd think my brother or grandfather or somebody would have pulled me aside and explained this particular bit of grooming to me, wouldn't you?

Anyway, the unhappy purchase yesterday was a nose-hair trimmer. Let me tell you something, brother: it works. It works well. The inside of my nose is smooth as a baby's butt.

Wanna feel?

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