Well, the tailgating went very well. Lots of beer and the baked beans were a hit. The game, though, was hotter than hell, with heat baking out of the packed concrete stands and not a breath of wind. I was sitting next to a bitter Ole Miss fan, who constantly mumbled, "come on, Ole Miss, I got money on this game."

I bet he lost that money, though. Ole Miss won, 3-0. A horrible performance for them, a surprisingly good job by Memphis.

Go Tigers!

Anyway, the wife and I left at halftime and went home to rehydrate and rest for a few moments before going to Side Street, where Sonya and Jen met a raft of their fellow Durannies. We also met James, just off a hard night of working the lights at Theatreworks, and Shawn, our friend and style consultant. While Jen and Sonya indulged in all manner of Le Bon-related trivia and James and Shawn and I visited. Shawn showed some interest in my current Burning Man fixation, which is a good thing. We may make it to the desert, yet.

Me and Sonya and Jen left Side Street (with Nicole and Kelly, fellow Durannies) and met Shawn at Backstreet for a night of dancing and frivolity. Jen and Sonya got lit, Shawn disappeared into the crowd and Nicole and Kelly gawked at the fabulous goings-on, this being their first time in such a place. One of the drag queens did that Britney Spears song, which was horribly entertaining. You probably had to be there. I danced until I was soaked with sweat. It was a good time.

I'm trying to remember what happened yesterday, but all I remember is that I failed to bathe. We did buy some groceries, and rent some movies: Shakespeare in Love, Rushmore and Gods and Monsters. All excellent. And Bill Murray's a fuckin' genius in Rushmore. And the entire cast was excellent in Gods and Monsters - especially Brendan Fraser. He gives an excellent portrayal of the good-hearted but none-too-bright hero.

Today was slow, as Jen and Sonya went shopping for all manner of things. James and I had a late lunch at the High Point, with lots of fried goodies and beer. Then we came back to the house to perform the Paratrooper Expirement.

Yesterday, Sonya and I got James two little parachuting army men. Remember them? We so got him a couple. Today, we tested them out for air-worthiness.

The first paratrooper - an officer, complete with peaked cap - went to the workout room on the seventeenth floor. I cracked open one of the windows and James tossed the officer out. We stuck our heads out to watch.

The officer's flight did not go well. He had a pretty good glide and made it across Adams, but it was clear by about the ninth floor that the parachute was not going to open. To put it in military terms, the soldier's flight was terminated by uncontrolled high-velocity contact with a stable horizontal surface.

The second soldier was launched from the parking garage next door. I threw this one, after James had taken care to open the parachute beforehand. This army man - an average grunt, by the look of him - sailed smoothly on the breeze and landed in the alley.

Mission Report: 50% casualties. In the future, casualties could be greatly reduced through additional equipment maintenance pre-jump.

After that the rest of the day had no choice but to be anticlimactic. James played with the Virtual Drummer while I did laundry. The girls returned, and Sonya got me lots of Blair Witch goodies and a cool hipster shirt. She also got herself some supersexy vinyl boots, which I admire greatly.

I honestly thought I had more (and more interesting) content for this entry. I was wrong.

Earlier, though, we were watching Shakespeare in Love and discussing how horrible life was for the average person back then. Jen said that, amongst the other things she would take back with her to that time, would be the plans for a working modern toilet.

"And since you'd invent it," I said, "you could call it Ye Jenny-Seat."

Ye Jenny-Seat is a most fabulous invention
which taketh the foul water strait to yon curb.

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