There's Something About Mary is on the HBO. I tell you, when he shocks the dog it's funny as hell, you know? And Jonathan Richman's a hoot.

Can you believe I've still got more to say after yesterday's blabfest? Just FYI, the hammer still hasn't fallen on me for my catty comments last night.

I'm lookin' for it, though!

Okay, here's a story from a few weeks ago. One night I was going to Wang's, over on Court Square, to pick up some take-out. I cut through the Square on my way.

Court Square is a nice little block of trees with a fountain and a bandstand plunked down in the middle of Downtown Memphis. It is famous for its beautiful fountain and its population of grey squirrels and homeless people. Trust me, it's a lovely little place.

Anyway, I'm walking across the Square, and what do I see scampering along the sidewalk in front of me but a Happy Little Squirrel.

Something was wrong, though. The Happy Little Squirrel seemed awfully low-slung for a member of his species, and his tail was terribly scrawny.

Then the Happy Little Squirrel cut across the sidewalk and I saw him in profile. He was not a Happy Little Squirrel at all, but a filthy stinking rat.

I love city life.

For those of you who keep track of such things (stalkers, Harold groupies, religious organizations - you know who you are) I'm feeling much better, thank you very much. The cold (which I believe I inherited from a co-worker) was very short-lived and surprisingly mild.

Now, though, Sonya is horribly ill, with lots of coughing and mucus and just generally feeling shitty. I don't even think she's got what I've got; I believe she has a completely different illness. Please pray for her, won't you?

So here's a new feature I like to call...

Freaks I've Seen

I have two freaks to tell you about today:

1. A few weeks ago, I met a man who, though very nice, had a freaky freak claw hand! Circumstances conspired to force me to have to shake this deformed talon. It was totally, completely icky. It was like he had a thumb, a croggled index finger and then just some stuff sticking out where the rest of his fingers should have been.
2. This afternoon as I was walking in to Kroger this woman was walking out. Her face had a certain subtle asymmetry that drew my eyes. As she walked by me I was what the problem was: she had no left ear! Just a streak of scar tissue and and a dent where the ear would go.

And this, too, is funny. I went to college with this guy. We had a few journalism classes together. He was an amiable, can-do frat boy. Now he's a motivational speaker. I saw his name in the alumni rag, and it said he'd quit his job to promote his book, Are You Puzzled by the Puzzle of Life? I breathed a sigh o' relief when I saw that he'd published it himself, though. I don't think I could have handled that.

It is rather funny to imagine this guy living in a van down by the river.

We've got some friends coming over tomorrow - friends that have never been to our house before. I figure we owe them at least one visit to the house where it's clean. After that, though, they're off the clean-the-house list.

But now I've actually got to do the fucking cleaning.

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