Michelangelo sibyl from the Sistine Chapel

 

lacking structure

Busy final hour at work. Couldn't sleep when I got home. Birthday party in the afternoon. Maybe a quick nap first before I go. Half asleep and then a phone call. Did I forget. No. I am on my way. A shower and then I am out the door. Radio loud. A Place in the Sun by Lit in the cd player. Fun and angry. Must ask to have from my brother. He doesn't like it, but I do. Too many people on the road for me to be patient. Not enough sleep and unsure of when I'll get more before work. Driving under a drizzle fog sky. Feel like hell.

House filled with people. Too many people for my fragile mind state. Need food. Need sleep. No food only birthday cake. Must be friendly. Mostly from my father's side of the family. Haven't seen most of them since Christmas. Told that I look tired. I am tired. Usually alseep at this time. Here for my niece. Four years old. Where does the time go.

...

I have no memory of what I was like at four, but I have to say that my niece seems happy enough. Of course being the first and only grandchild so far, she gets plenty of attention from my parents.

The ride back to my house was much more relaxed than the trip there. Rain was still falling, but I drove with the radio off. The sound of the tires on the pavement and the windshield wipers was enough.

...

Somewhere around two in the morning, I started to feel like myself again. The timeless quality of where I work creates a certain mood that helps me think. With the constant lighting and the hum of the fans and machines in the background everything else seems to fall away. The time of day or night doesn't matter anymore, because the conditions always remain the same. One coworker says that it puts him to sleep, but I don't find it quite that relaxing.

My new focus in Europe is the Netherlands. Beyond the famous red light district where the prostitutes stand in the windows, the country does have other attractions to see. Foremost for me would be the great art of Van Gogh and Vermeer. Then there would be the countryside itself that compelled these two men to paint. I could also get to see one of my favortie paintings by Vermeer, Girl with Pearl Earring.

 
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