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three days left The entry for yesterday sounded awkward, but I haven't had to write anything in days and I had forgotten how to get started. So I ended up churning out a nice laundry list of events. Actually it was odd powering up the computer for the first time in three days and I can't imagine what it'll feel like after being away for three weeks. I may not always have much to say in the journal, but I do spend at least an hour on the computer every day. When Sunday gets here that will all end. ... My time seems so limited now with various loose ends that I need to be taken care of before I leave. For example, part of the afternoon was spent paying all of the bills that I had lying around. My hope is that the rest don't arrive in the mail until I get back at the end of the month, but I can't say whether or not that'll happen. I'd rather have more spending money for the trip than paying for bills that can wait until I return. ... I think that it was my parents who pointed out how different my brother and I am in personality and they were wondering how much that would affect our trip. One of the more obvious differences is our modes of dress or how much credence we give to the belief that clothes make the man. It was brought to my attention that his girlfriend's relatives refer to him as a pretty boy and I can see their point. What probably prompted this tag was the fact that he works out quite often and likes to keep a hip wardrobe full of famous name clothes. I, however, think that clothes are meant to be functional and not a reflection of my current emotional state. The second running joke is that my brother will drink his way through Europe while I eat my way or some other combination of the two. I'll grudgingly admit that part of this is true. I do have a habit of eating meals throughout the day and that may not be as easy to do while traveling. As for the drinking, I'm sure that I'll do my best to keep up with my brother even though I'm a little out of practice. I've also been instructed by my brother's girlfriend to keep my brother away from any foreign women while we are away and that is fine with me. Part of me wouldn't mind meeting someone while we're there and no competition from him improves my chances. As to whether or not that'll happen, I can't say. Now that I read that again it all sounds so desperate. Despite our minor personality differences I think that we'll get along fine or I wouldn't have agreed to the trip. ... In the July third edition of The New Yorker, there was a great short story written by Lucinda Rosenfeld, called "The Male Gaze." In my mind it captured the thought processes of a number of women that I have known in some way or another. The line that sums up the story the best is the one that follows: "She still expected love to be as tirelessly tension-filled as it was in books and movies." I think that captures the mindset of quite a few women when it comes to relationships. Two unspoken rules seem to apply. Love should never be easy and reality never seems to live up to the fantasy. Of course the same could also be said for some men.
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